After doing “self-improvement” for so long, I’ve come to hate this term. In this post I’ll talk about why and why you may feel the same.
I found out about this whole “self-improvement” movement somewhere around 2021, and I’m not going to lie, it helped me a lot.
But at that time I hadn’t realized it was also toxic in many ways and still is.
Let me explain.
Why I dislike the term “self-improvement”
I don’t know about you, but for a long time I had the “self-improvement” mentality. I was on “self-improvement” so to speak.
I don’t like that.
Back then it felt normal, but now I find it strange saying I am on “self-improvement”.
I get it, it may feel important to remind you that you are doing better, but you really need to be “on” self-improvement?
Improving yourself should be normal, and it is normal, but the self-help industry ruined it.
Instead of treating improving yourself as a human thing to do, we, or at least I, started treating it like I was “on” something, just like a drug of some kind. Just like I wasn’t going to do it after some time had passed.
Now, to be honest, it helped me, I can’t only hate on it.
It gave me confidence at that time and a sense of purpose, which I liked a lot.
I don’t like how we are on “self-improvement” instead improving ourselves
I met some people that were saying “I am on self-improvement now” or “Yeah, I am on self-improvement, I can’t go out with you guys” and so on.
This is wrong. This is self-indulging in the fact that you are better, at least If you say it often — I did as well btw 🙂
It’s more fulfilling to be on “self-improvement” than to improve yourself.
And many of us (including myself) haven’t realized that much, we don’t have the luxury stuff, nor do we have the 4-hour-work-week that a lot of self-improvement gurus seem to have.
We feel better while planning the great change, then when we actually step forward and do something.
We settle down as accomplished because of the dopamine we get when we plan rather than do.
That was my case at least, I had 100 plans and accomplished 0.
Another thing I don’t like is how it preaches to change everything at once.
That’s almost impossible. It’s like setting yourself up for failure. This is hard to sustain in the long run.
I experienced this a few years ago. I was waking up early, working out, working on my so-called businesses, and then going outside for a bit to talk with my friend, who at the time was doing the same as me.
We were so happy and full of ourselves, trying everything, talking about luxury cars and homes and vacations like we already had accomplished it.
We tried a lot and accomplished nothing, when we saw no quick progress, we jumped back and forth between many things.
The story about success and the successful online personas made it seem like making money is just a walk in the park. You do this, you do that, and then you are financially free.
Don’t get me wrong, a lot of people made it, but it’s not as black and white as told.
Let me tell you why.
Why I think this is the wrong mindset
The information and advice out there are good, the community can help you expand your knowledge and keep accountable and even establish business partners.
But while there are good people spreading a lot of useful messages, there are a lot who do the opposite.
Let’s take Andrew Tate, putting aside his legal allegations, as someone who’s in the middle, his advice in doing business and working out, and so on, is good.
But how he polarizes things is wrong, making it seem like if you are not a “Top G”, then you are a loser and you are stuck in the matrix.
And I can’t deny, he said some bad stuff about some things.
That right here is toxic.
That’s why I like and dislike Andrew Tate at the same time.
It should be normal wanting to be better and working to be. You don’t need to be on “self-improvement” like it’s a drug.
Think back 20 years. Do you think millionaires were consuming self-help content and saying that they are on “self-improvement”? Because I don’t think so.
Going back to “doing everything at once”, that’s bad practice as well.
You can’t keep that up for long, and when you fail you find despair.
It’s a lot of pressure that can or can’t be beneficial.
Yes, it’s helping you achieve more and hepls you stay on the grind. But it can also lower your self esteem just as it increases it.
The most important thing is that you can’t live like that as a human.
There is more to life than the self-improvement bubble.
The effect on the younger generation
I was about 16 years old when I first found out about this online on YouTube from influencers like Hamza and Andrew Tate. As of now I am 20, and I can say that it affected me in both a bad and a good way.
I was believing everything I heard, especially from Hamza, like it was someone perfect speaking to me.
I did everything he did, hate video games, hate Jefferys (for those who know), read books, meditate, and a whole lot of things.
I wasn’t thinking about if what he says is right or wrong, I was a believer.
That and a lot of other aspects make this kind of communities toxic.
could speak more about this “toxic masculinity”, because it really exists, but I’ll leave my opinions about that for a future post.
Conclusion
I think a friendlier and more conscious approach is the way forward. You can’t change everything in one go you’ll have moments when you don’t realize what you put your mind to, and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up like you are lower than when you started.
You’re going to change what you think is right or wrong in time, and that’s okay.
Search for answers even after finding one!
Be proud of yourself but stay humble at the same time. Find your own path, and take everything with a grain of salt!
That’s it!
This is the end of the post, thank you for staying until the end!
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