The connection between grandparents and grandchildren can be special, but fleeting. The age gap between the two generations means that grandparents are not always around to see grandchildren grow up into adults.
However, that doesn’t mean a grandparent won’t matter. Those years playing and chatting together can still make a significant impression on a grandchild’s life. Francesca Falzarano, an assistant professor of gerontology at the University of Southern California, said older adults can make the mistake of believing that younger generations don’t want or need to hear from their experience. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Older adults just assume that young ones don’t want to listen to them,” she said. But “older adults really can’t diminish how much younger adults appreciate the wisdom that comes with sharing one’s story.”
Researchers who work with both generations say there are actions grandparents do that can leave a lasting memory ― and it’s not always what you expect.
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Grandchildren Remember How Much You Showed Up For Them
A grandchild may not remember everything their grandparents said or did, but they’ll definitely remember how you made them regularly feel.
Neal K. Shah is the CEO of CareYaya, a company that connects students in the healthcare field with seniors needing assistance, and he’s found that when grandparents “spend quality time one-on-one with the grandchild, it is super-focused, and the grandparent is way more likely to enter the grandchild’s world than the parent is.”
That steady presence and stable emotional bond make a lasting difference in a family. One 2025 study found that young grandchildren who spent more time with involved grandparents showed higher rates of resilience than kids who did not, because grandparents acted as “stress-buffers” within families, particularly when mothers of young children reported feeling stressed.
That’s why showing up to lend a helping hand and a non-judgmental ear can matter more than a yearly visit. “Consistent moments of interaction are so important. That’s going to matter more than a 30-minute phone call,” Falzarano said.
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture to be meaningful. Falzarano said “micro-moments” like a morning text message or exchanging photos “can keep the relationship alive and meaningful while both grandchild and grandparent are still present.”
They’ll Remember Sensory Details
A grandchild may likely remember the smell of your cooking or the perfume you wore, because “smell is the strongest type of memory we can form,” Falzarano said. “Every time you recall a memory, different parts of your brain have to talk to each other to bring the theme back together. Smell is very helpful, as is music in triggering the recall of the memory.”
A specific sight, smell or sound can feel like “time travel,” Falzarano said, and help a grandchild remember their grandparent. “They see it through their own eyes as a kid, as if that moment was happening in real time.”
Falzarano said examples she’s heard that linger included knowing that a grandparent’s house was yellow or that her nails were always painted red.
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They’ll Remember Your Past — If You Make A Point To Talk About It
From the families he’s talked with, Shah said the standout memories from grandchildren “often tend to be very rich and powerful memories of specific life experiences that grandparents had of major things they did in their life, in their personal life, in their career.”
That’s why Shah encourages older people to share their life story out loud or in writing for future generations to remember. Sharing one’s legacy is a win-win for both grandchildren and grandparent. “It is actually very therapeutic for the older person, both for maintaining cognition, but also maintaining positivity and combating depression,” he said.
Engaging in reminiscence can involve recording voice notes or writing letters, Falzarano said. Or it can be as simple as taking out a photo album and talking with your grandchild about what you remember from where and when that photo took place. “You’d be surprised how one photo can be a real conversation-starter,” Falzarano said.
A grandparent’s love can help a grandchild feel valued and secure, and help them even after a grandparent dies. In a 2025 survey of 514 grandchildren between 18 to 29, the young adults who felt supported by at least one grandparent during early childhood scored higher in emotional well-being.
In the survey, support was measured by the extent to which grandchildren could share what was going on in their lives with their grandparents. It was also measured by how much they received emotional support or advice from their grandparents. Notably, this well-being boost persisted even if the grandparents died before their grandchild reached adulthood and even when the young adults were not close with their own parents.
So if you’re a grandparent, know that you have the power to make a lasting difference, even if you can’t always see it. “Young ones can really learn a lot from their life experience,” Falzarano said.
