Whether it’s Harry Styles getting hit in the face with Skittles onstage, fans filming shows instead of, you know, actually watching them, or a disturbing increase in public defecation in the audience, concert etiquette in the 2020s is practically nonexistent.
So much so that there’s even a Wikipedia page dedicated to the decade’s uptick in terrible concert behavior.
Pooping in the stands. Throwing phones. Loud talking during performances. When — and why — did we start acting like undersocialized animals just because we bought tickets to the Eras Tour?
What should be an evening of revelry is too often peppered with moments of aggression, selfishness and all-around boorish behavior. We consulted two etiquette experts, and not only did they weigh in on why things have been going wrong at live shows in recent years, but they also offered practical advice on keeping things enjoyable during your next concert.
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Blame the pandemic (and the rise in social media).
Before we start pointing fingers, let’s remember the number one reason we attend concerts in the first place: To have fun.
“People often view concerts as a way to let loose, express themselves, and make the most of the money they’ve spent on the experience,” observed Mariah G. Humbert, a Gen Z etiquette expert and author based in New York City.
Concert atmospheres have “powerful emotional triggers,” said Australia-based etiquette expert Jo Hayes. “[They] put people in a party mood.”
But it’s when that “party mood” devolves into unhinged behavior that problems arise.
Both Humbert and Hayes note that two milestones of the 2020s have contributed to the rise in poor concert etiquette: the COVID-19 pandemic and social media’s integral role in our daily lives.
“Remember that a lot of young people went through their ‘coming of age’ years during the pandemic,” Hayes said. Yes, these Gen Zers graduated from high school/college, got their first jobs and started attending concerts and festivals around this time, but they also missed out on fundamental life lessons due to their severely limited social contact and interaction (from roughly 2020-2022).
“The normal ‘social training’ that used to come with everyday life suddenly vanished,” Hayes continued. “Things like courtesy, consideration and respect for others, [and] picking up on social cues.”
This “social training” was replaced, for many, “with junk on social media.” Hayes believes that unhinged concert antics are at least partially due to “people constantly feeding on social media” and ultimately “losing touch with what is and is not socially acceptable in normal life.”
“It’s almost as if common courtesy is less prioritized today,” echoed Humbert, though she does feel that social media’s omnipresence may also be why we hear more about people pooping their pants at concerts. “We are simply more aware of the behavior now more than ever before.”
We have to talk about the pooping.
Probably the worst outcome of this post-pandemic period is the upswing of public defecation at concerts.
“There is truly no excuse or explanation for this, and it should not be tolerated!” Humbert said. “Aside from it being unsanitary and unacceptable, it’s completely disrespectful to the people around you.”
And it’s not only the concertgoers whose evenings are disrupted by the unmistakable stench. Back in June, Olivia Rodrigo shared that when she’s onstage, she can smell the fans in the front row who refuse to give up their prime spots even when nature calls.
That same month, Noah Kahan made headlines for speaking out against these pesky poopers as well. After a viral video from one of his Philadelphia shows documented feces smeared on the arena floor, the “Stick Season” singer took to X to implore concertgoers to “just go to the bathroom” (and to show respect for the arena staffers who have to clean up their messes).
Sacha Lecca/Rolling Stone via Getty Images
Kahan reiterated his plea two days after the X post during a show in Toronto, where he had the audience take a very particular oath: Poop in the toilet, not on the floor.
Humbert told HuffPost that she appreciated how Kahan referred to attending a concert as “a social contract” in his Toronto speech. “We must remember that our actions impact others, especially to this extreme.”
How to keep concerts fun. And safe. And respectful.
Despite all the horror stories out there, there are still plenty of opportunities to create lifelong positive memories at your next concert. Aside from not using a concert arena as a toilet — which, sadly, shouldn’t even require a reminder, but here we are — our experts recommended a few other ways to ensure a safe and respectful night out.
Above all, Hayes suggested following the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. “If we keep this top of mind, everything else falls into place.”
Specifically, that means being not only self-aware, but also others-aware: “Be mindful of how your behavior is impacting those around you,” she said.
Dos:
Do drink responsibly.
Do keep your phone charged.
Do pack some essentials. (Hayes recommends hand sanitizer, tissues, Tylenol, earplugs and a hat if you’re going to be outside during the summer heat.)
Do stay fed and hydrated (but be mindful of your food/liquid intake due to possibly limited toilet access).
Do remain mindful of your personal space and belongings; make sure you (and your things) stay in your assigned seat.
Do take note of security locations to report incidents if necessary.
Do treat venue staff with respect. “They are there to keep everyone safe,” said Humbert.
Don’ts:
Don’t talk or sing too loudly (or obnoxiously). “Even though it’s likely a loud environment, you don’t want to disturb others,” Humbert said. “I love a good sing-along at a concert, but I have had a concert ruined for me by a highly intoxicated attendee who screamed along to every song. It was incredibly distracting, and we could barely hear the performer at some points.”
Don’t film entire shows. If you want to record your favorite song, Humbert first advises making sure this is allowed by the performer and the venue. Proceed only if you’re mindful of the light on your phone, the flash, and “how high you are holding your phone to avoid it negatively impacting the experience of the people around you.”
Don’t play audio/have conversations on your phone’s loudspeaker. “It’s so annoying for those around you,” Hayes noted.
Remember, concerts are a communal experience.
In this age of the selfie and the livestream, it can be easy to forget that concerts are, at heart, communal experiences. Whether you’re going to see a pop star like Ariana Grande, prog-rock legends like Rush, or a singer-songwriter like Benson Boone, their shows are an opportunity to share your joy with fellow fans.
So, as excited as you may be about your own experiences, remember that you’re actually not watching the concert from the comfort and privacy of your living room, but in a public venue.
That means you do need to be mindful of “how your actions and decisions are impacting the other people around you who also want to have a safe and enjoyable time at the concert,” Humbert said. “Any public space or large-scale event requires a significant amount of self-awareness and awareness for others!”
Most everyone who attends a concert just wants to have a good time. As long as we have respect for one another — and ourselves — we can all go home with big smiles and happy memories at the end of the night.
