These Are The Worst States To Date In In The U.S.

We’ve all heard the phrase “looking for love in all the wrong places.” But is there some truth to that in a literal sense?

A new report from Gen Z-centered adult content site Hidden examined dating-adjacent data from all 50 states to get to the bottom of that very question for American daters: Are some states just straight-up worse for single people trying to make those meaningful connections?

Researchers analyzed six common factors affecting dating in each state — from the population (and percentage of single people in it), expenses for the average date in the area (and availability of bars and restaurants to have those dates in), documented online interest in dating (ex: dating apps and dating tip queries on search engines) and how much folks are spending on dating apps.

Combining these data points, each state was assigned a Dating Difficulty Index score between 0 and 100, with the higher numbers representing the states that are the most difficult places for people trying to find love.

Utah was found to be the most difficult state to date in, with the highest score in the difficulty index at 98.89. Here’s how it measures up:

• Single population: 44.7%
• Average date cost: $121
• Bars per 100K people: 4
• Restaurants per 100K people: 101
• Dating app spending per capita: $0.33
• Dating searches per 100K people: 2,138

The other nine states with the highest difficulty scores included:

• Washington
  Index score: 90.89
• Maine
  Index score: 87.8
• Idaho
  Index score: 87.06
• Alabama
  Index score: 86.41
• Tennessee
  Index score: 85.25
• Texas
  Index score: 83.77
• Hawaii
  Index score: 81.68
• Virginia
  Index score: 81.1
• New Jersey
  Index score: 80.29

Among states that had the lowest difficulty scores were Rhode Island — with a score of zero (!) — South Dakota (21.83), Louisiana (28.38), New York (30.94), North Dakota (32.65), Oregon (33.69), Illinois (34.18), Montana (36.52), Delaware (38.23) and Vermont (41.82).

While this isn’t a sign to flee your state or to start adjusting your distance settings (although the latter isn’t a terrible idea if you’re looking for a little novelty or a LDR), these numbers can help illustrate the challenges modern daters are facing as the “traditional” pathways to dating and building relationships become far less reliable, and the costs (both in terms of time and money) become higher and higher.

“Dating has become more complicated across the board, with people spending more time alone and less time in social places,” Drew Renna, head of brand and creators at Hidden, said about the study. “The barriers keep piling up, there are higher costs for going out and people seem generally busier than ever to actually date. It appears that where you live can also really affect your chances of finding someone.”

The increased financial pressures are something Duygu Balan, a dual-licensed psychotherapist in New York and California, has seen in her own practice among Gen Z daters.

“In my practice, especially among Gen Z clients, I see many delaying dating because they feel they must reach financial stability first. Success and financial security become prerequisites for connection, as if they need to earn the right to date,” Balan said. “Economic instability can heighten anxiety, irritability, and shame, which often shows up as avoidance, lower tolerance for stress, short temper, or shutting down emotionally on dates.”

This leads to singles thinking of dating in more practical than romantic terms.

“People feel less eligible when they can’t afford the classic ‘dinner and a movie’ experience they see on TV, and many also feel less attractive when they can’t keep up with haircuts or cute outfits for dates,” Balan said. “All of this can diminish confidence and make them feel less worthy of romantic pursuit.”

Balan told HufPost that the data might align with some of our expectations about different environments, but might not necessarily tell the full story.

For example, “In larger cities, people often have more options but also experience more dating fatigue and burnout,” Balan said. “With large dating pools, fast turnover, and a normalized ghosting culture, there is a constant underlying sense that ‘someone better, funnier, taller is one swipe away,’ which makes it harder for people to commit.”

Likewise, Balan noted that smaller communities and suburbs might see more limited dating pools that can lead to daters experiencing “urgency and pressure to pair off quickly.”

There are, of course, social dynamics at play in any given area that can make or break it as a hospitable for daters. “Unspoken scripts about what relationships should look like and greater social pressure to follow traditional values,” Balan notes, “can discourage exploration and emotional risk-taking.”

This can make some states less fruitful for folks who are queer, non-monogamous or otherwise nontraditional in what they want from a relationship.

Likewise, Balan added, “open-minded, diverse environments” can foster traits like self-awareness, healthy communication and conflict resolution skills, emotional vulnerability and actually going to therapy — which “contribute to more secure and satisfying dating experiences.”

You’re not doomed to be #foreveralone just because of your zip code. There are some helpful ways to bypass the obstacles to dating in your area if you continue to run into them.

If you’re feeling that where you live isn’t helping you find the love you want, Balan recommends stepping back from dating apps and looking to more grounded, IRL communities for shared common interests.

“Expand circles beyond dating apps and join communities where people show who they are through shared activity, including volunteer groups, creative spaces, sports, activism, or faith-based programs if aligned,” Balan said.

It can also help to cut out some of your self-imposed criteria and focus on true compatibility, she added. Instead of thinking of your “type” as tall, dark and handsome, you may want to consider a person’s “emotional readiness, shared interests, worldview, and the capacity to communicate and repair” while also working on better knowing and understanding your own emotional patterns.

“Knowing yourself, understanding your patterns, and healing the ones that get in the way of connection often matters more than location,” she said. “The most successful daters I see are not those in the ‘best’ locations. They are the ones who show up with self-awareness, realistic expectations, and an ability to tolerate imperfection and uncertainty.”