After a breakup, you might have to split your belongings and your money –– but are you prepared to part ways with your pet?
The debate over who gets to keep a beloved pet after a breakup can be heated, which is why a “pet-nup,” or a pet nuptial agreement, can save you so much unnecessary grief.
A pet-nup is typically a contractual agreement over who should care for a pet in the event of a relationship ending. “They can save so many people so much money and time and negative energy,” said Jeremy Cohen, a Boston-based pet law attorney who specializes in resolving pet custody cases. “Some people are spending $20-$30,000 to fight for their pet, and during that time, their pet ages… And sometimes, when you put it in the hands of a judge, anything can happen.”
Pet-nups, though still not common, are on the rise, especially with younger couples under 35. “Ten years ago, I usually had to explain what a ‘pet-nup’ even was,” said Erin Levine, a California-based lawyer and founder of Hello Divorce, an online divorce management platform. “Today, millennial and Gen Z couples often think about them and sometimes ask for them proactively.”
It’s no surprise why. Our cats, birds and dogs are often not just pets –– they are also our family members, and it can be painful to lose them after a breakup.
“If you’re not married and you split without a pet-nup, a judge might literally decide your dog’s fate based on whose name is on a receipt. That’s why planning ahead is everything,” Levine said. Here’s what you need to know.
Why All Cohabitating Pet Owners Should Consider A Pet-Nup
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Most of us are willing to go to legal war to keep our pets. An August 2025 survey of over 2,000 pet parents found that 3 in 5 U.S. adults would seek legal action against their ex for custody of their pet.
But what’s great about a pet-nup is that it sets clear boundaries about your pet’s future, so that an expensive legal battle is not necessary. When there is no pet-nup, Cohen said he needs to sift through text messages, social media posts and witness statements to prove pet ownership and enforce an agreement.
And it’s still not a guarantee what will happen, even when you hire a lawyer: “There’s not enough case law to have a predictable outcome for clients,” Cohen noted.
Without a pet-nup, “What happens is, first, you have to go to court and prove ownership, and then you have to prove why you have rights to the pet and how that should be divided up, versus if you have something in writing that clearly demonstrates it –– half the battle is done now,” Cohen explained.
You don’t need to be married to benefit from a pet-nup agreement. “There are people who will stay in bad relationships because they don’t want to lose a pet,” Cohen said. “And this empowers people at a time when they might not even foresee that they won’t feel powerful.”
“Honestly, unmarried couples need them even more. If you’re not married, you don’t have the legal protections that come with marriage and divorce,” Levine said. “Without a written agreement, whoever’s name is on the microchip, license, or vet paperwork will usually be awarded the pet. I’ve seen this happen so many times, even when the other partner did most of the caregiving.”
How To Write Your Own Pet-Nup
Illustration: HuffPost; Photos: Getty
Your pet-nup can be customizable to whatever is best for you and your pet’s future. But in general, Levine said, there are six kinds of terms that are the most important to include for pet owners:
Primary ownership, or who the pet lives with
Visitation or time-sharing agreements
Financial responsibilities for food, grooming, insurance and vet bills
Emergency and medical decision-making, like end-of-life care
Relocation rules, if one partner wants to move
First right of refusal for rehoming, so that “if Partner A gets the dog at separation but later Partner A can no longer keep the pet, [they] must offer pet to Partner B before seeking another living situation,” Levine said.
It can be as specific as you want it to be, with clauses like ”[this person] is going to pay $500 to keep the pet 100% [of the time] and transfer full ownership” if our relationship ends, Cohen said as an example.
You can talk out scenarios with a lawyer to make sure your agreement is airtight and enforceable in court, but it’s understandable if you want to try this on your own.
“Since hiring a lawyer is often too expensive or more money than most young couples want to spend, many are drafting their own and asking us to review them or even skipping a lawyer entirely,” Levine said.
If you do this yourself, you need to put everything you want in writing. “At the risk of overkill, be specific: Name the pet, include the microchip, outline schedules, costs, end-of-life care,” Levine said.
“If you wrote this on a napkin, it’s still more than what we have in most cases,” Cohen said. He noted that, in general, simply writing a pet-nup agreement in a notebook with your signatures could be helpful later on. Having “a mutual friend witness it would be even better, because you just don’t want people saying ‘That’s not my signature,’” he added.
Ideally, you want to create your pet-nup right before or when you get a pet with a partner, while your relationship is solid. “It’s better to do it when people are happy with each other, so it will be equitable, it will be fair,” Cohen said.
It may feel awkward to plan out a possible ending of your relationship while you’re still in the beginning of one, but the peace of mind you gain from having a pet-nup for your favorite furred family member is priceless.
“This type of planning takes some courage, because it’s an uncomfortable conversation,” Cohen said. But it can be a gift not just to yourself, but to pet owners everywhere. “Each person that does this is making it a more common practice,” he said.
