The stories of letting go
When we were 15 or probably 16, maybe somewhere between both. I remember his dream, and a little things he told me. His dreams, his siblings, his stories of life even just a little bit. How time flies, but memories stay yet feelings of hurts still there. We were young, naive and stupid yet thought of love is the only way to solving. I just realize its more than that.
Parting ways with him wasn’t the easiest thing I ever done. I let him go, quietely, slowly. I saw him reach everything’s in his life- some things that he told me about when were young. He made it so far yet in every moments of his life, in the glimpse of it- I wasn’t there to celebrate with him or to say congratulation in every important moments. I was so sure back then, telling my self that everything’s gonna be okey- its just him not become part of my life anymore. But, part of him was actually one of the heartbreak I felt for three years of my life. I wasn’t okey back then, probably still.
I didn’t letting my self to feel sad, because all I did was trying to get over with it and not allowing my self to feel vulnerable. I don’t want to feel sad just because one guy breaks my heart, but I was wrong. I am allowed to sad, to feel whatever I felt towards him, to feel anger and miserable. In the end of the day, Im just human. Those feelings, makes me human. That’s okey.
I was to focus to make my self move on. I wasn’t understand healing need time and can’t be force. I need time to accepting this happened even for so many years already.
I didn’t regret everything that happened. I was in love and it was good moment to fall in love. I just don’t like my self breaking aparts for one guy, but he actually kind for some parts.
He’s not gonna be part of my life anymore, and Im not gonna be part of his anymore- but once, we were. Im still glad of those cute moments we share back then, it was warm.
I wish nothing but the best for him, although we didn’t make it, and living in separated ways, I still want him to reach everything’s in his life. Sometimes, you just need to take time slowly and just letting go.
