Author: kirklandc008@gmail.com
menyuarakan bahwa kita sudah menjadi satu.Press enter or click to view image in full sizepinterestTerlalu pongah menyebut dua denyut yang kebetulan berdetak beriringan sebagai satu kehidupan. Kita menabalkan diri sendiri sebagai sesuatu yang utuh, tanpa pernah menengok kepada waktu dan bertanya apakah ia bersedia menjadi saksi atas kesombongan kecil kita.Seolah-olah semesta telah selesai menulis takdir begitu jemari saling menggenggam. Seolah-olah seluruh musim telah menandatangani perjanjian rahasia untuk selalu berpihak kepada kita.Betapa mudahnya lidah mengucapkan selamanya. Sebuah kata yang kita anggap abadi, padahal ia hanya gelembung tipis yang mengambang di udara—indah sesaat, memantulkan seluruh cahaya yang kita miliki, lalu pecah hanya…
Vivian, 61 double quotation markSince menopause and being with Thomas, my interest in sex is much higher “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it,” my sister told me a couple of years after my divorce. “Go and buy a vibrator or something.” It was then, in my mid-50s, that I started masturbating for the first time. I had a sexual awakening: I orgasmed for the first time in my life, started listening to podcasts about sex, and was hornier than I’d ever been. It was around that time that Thomas and I started flirting via texts.If I’m honest, the…
Press enter or click to view image in full sizeSebagian besar kegelisahan manusia tidak lahir karena hidup terlalu sulit, tetapi karena kita berharap hidup selalu dapat diprediksi. Kita menyusun rencana, membuat berbagai kemungkinan, dan berusaha mengantisipasi segala hal. Namun, semakin keras kita mencoba mengendalikan kehidupan, semakin sering kita kecewa ketika kenyataan memilih jalannya sendiri.Tanpa sadar, sebagian besar kecemasan yang kita rasakan, lahir dari keinginan untuk mengendalikan sesuatu yang memang tidak pernah berada dalam genggaman kita.Manusia memang menyukai kepastian. Ketika sesuatu terasa tidak pasti, pikiran kita akan segera mengisi kekosongan itu dengan berbagai kemungkinan. “Bagaimana kalau gagal?” “Bagaimana kalau dia berubah?”…
Why do people remain in relationships that repeatedly hurt them? This article uses an IFS perspective to explore the protective parts behind codependent attachment, including fear, guilt, hope and responsibility. It explains why leaving can feel dangerous and how compassionate self-leadership can eventually support clearer, healthier and more authentic choices.“Why don’t you just leave?”It’s one of the most common questions people ask themselves when they remain in painful and toxic relationships. Indeed, it’s the question most of their friends and family would also ask. From the outside, it may be obvious as to why they should leave. The same patterns…
‘What’s the point buying a £189 health tracker if you’re a smoker?’Rachel and Kojo, NorthamptonRachel, 38, met Kojo, 41, in 2020, a year after divorcing the father of her two children, Amanda and Miles. Rachel works for the NHS, earning £27,000 a year. Kojo earns £32,000 as a school caretaker. They live in a three-bedroom home they bought in 2024 for £325,000. Their son, Marcus, and Rachel’s 13-year-old daughter, Amanda, live with them, while Miles, 17, splits his time between them and Rachel’s ex. The couple divide their £1,750 monthly mortgage and household bills. They each contribute £500 to a…
I met Trent in 2012 in a car park in Winnipeg. We were handing out flyers on the Canadian fringe circuit. I was wearing a pink tutu for my contemporary clown show and Trent was in the tight black suit of his vaudeville character the Birdmann. We barely spoke but I had this strange feeling, almost as if I should avoid him – a feeling I sometimes get around people who go on to become important in my life.Trent and Sachie in Seattle in 2012Backstage at the next festival in Edmonton, Trent kept trying to give me liquorice but I…
Reactive Abuse: The Misunderstood Reaction to Coercive Control | Info Self DevelopmentPress enter or click to view image in full sizeReactive abuse is one of the most damaging and misunderstood terms in the narcissistic abuse recovery space because it shifts the focus away from the sustained pattern of harm and places it onto a single moment of reaction.That shift is not neutral. It distorts reality.It takes a prolonged pattern of coercion, manipulation, and psychological pressure and reduces it to one visible response, then judges the entire situation based on that response.What people often fail to understand is that by the…
It’s been two months since I was laid off. And over a year since my father passed, after a stroke, emergency surgery, and attempts at rehab. He was 81. I am glad he doesn’t have to see this round of me in-between jobs. He would have understood that I have reached the salary digits that my workplace did not want to go beyond, for the role I was in. That 5 years on a contract job with annual contracts, usually ends in no contract in the 6th year. Yet, he would be pained. And yet again, I would feel that…
Richard on KatrinaWhat were you hoping for?Easy conversation with someone interesting, smart and relaxed.First impressions?Katrina arrived and my blind date trepidation vanished. She looked good, was warm, and the conversation flowed straight away.What did you talk about?Our grownup kids. Running. Travel. Our devotion to our coffee machines.Most awkward moment? I thought Katrina was still working her way through her post-meal mint tea, so was taken aback when she said, “Shall we call it a night?”Good table manners?Impeccable.Best thing about Katrina?She is great company.Would you introduce Katrina to your friends?Yes. I’m sure she gets on really well with most people.Q&AFancy a…
Entering a monogamous relationship comes with a long list of conversations about boundaries. What counts as crossing a line? Is flirting with someone else harmless or hurtful? Should you tell your partner if someone asks you out? How do you navigate friendships with exes? Is watching porn or subscribing to OnlyFans acceptable within the relationship?There’s no universal answer. Every couple gets to decide what commitment, intimacy and trust look like for them.But couples today are facing a new question that wasn’t part of the conversation for most relationships formed before the rise of artificial intelligence: Where do AI companions fit…