Author: kirklandc008@gmail.com

What determines the success of a relationship? Is it love or compatibility?I doomscroll for hours on end like the average adult with a smartphone. Is it a healthy habit? No, it is not. But we all know how challenging it becomes to put the phone down once the thumb starts sliding over the touchscreen.You’ve got to view the next post to give the brain that dopamine hit. We are such little addicts, aren’t we?In the course of this dopamine-scrolling, I have developed a parasocial relationship with couples, some of whom live across the globe. And it’s not just with top…

Press enter or click to view image in full sizeSometimes, I hate myself for being too soft…Too forgiving. Too understanding. Too quick to see where someone is coming from, even when they never tried to understand where I was standing. I always find myself looking for reasons to excuse people who hurt me.Maybe they didn’t mean it. Maybe they’re going through something. Maybe they just don’t know any better.Somehow, I can always find compassion for everyone else, yet I struggle to show the same compassion to myself.I’ve always been the kind of person who would rather carry the weight than…

Press enter or click to view image in full sizecr pinterest“Beri tahu aku bagian mana dari dirimu yang terluka, maka akan aku rawat lukanya.”“Jangan memaksa dirimu untuk mencintaiku. Bila suatu hari kamu merasa tak lagi mampu memberiku cinta, maka lepaskanlah aku.”“Bahkan jika kehidupan diulang beribu-ribu kali, aku akan tetap memilihmu sebagai pasanganku.”Sejak awal, begitulah caraku mencintaimu.Kupeluk seluruh bagian dirimu. Luka yang kau sembunyikan, ketakutan yang tak pernah kauucapkan, hingga masa lalu yang diam-diam masih menghantuimu. Aku tak pernah berniat menghapus semua lukamu. Aku hanya ingin menemanimu sampai luka itu tak lagi terasa begitu perih.Aku ingin menjadi rumahmu.Rumah yang tetap menyalakan…

The goal is to make you question your own mindThe most dangerous control strategies often arrive wrapped in affection, concern, and promises that seem sincere.Press enter or click to view image in full sizePhoto by Sivani Bandaru on UnsplashThe most dangerous traps often feel safe at first.Manipulation is easy to spot when it looks like shouting, threats, or open cruelty. The darker forms rarely announce themselves that way. They arrive through affection, concern, helplessness, apologies, and promises that seem sincere. That is what makes emotional manipulation so difficult to escape. Your mind keeps searching for a clear villain, while the…

Press enter or click to view image in full sizePhoto by Zen zeee on UnsplashWords carry weight. Some are light and airy while others are heavy and dense. Easily formed with a flick of a tongue and a thought. They are powerful tools to lift up or to tear down. I love words, they help give meaning and define the length of a presence or moment that is otherwise meaningless until it has purpose.I am quite familiar with words that weight differently and mold the fabric of realities. I have formulated my own versions of phrases that fit me, that…

What the 3% Who Reconnect Successfully Do DifferentlyI’m not against the idea of reconnecting. It works sometimes.But being honest about what I’ve seen: the cases where getting back together actually works out — maybe 3%. The other 97% either repeat the same patterns and break up again, or end worse than before.The difference between the 3% and the 97% isn’t whether they reached out or not.The difference is whether they actually changed.The 97% failure pattern has consistent features.First: trying to prove change through words. “I’m not who I was.” “I won’t make the same mistakes again.” I understand the impulse…

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” ~Mark Twain It started with a clogged kitchen drain. Or maybe the drain was where everything else I’d been carrying finally surfaced. Regardless, the water wasn’t moving. It was so bad that some of it backed up in the bathroom sink. Baking soda and vinegar didn’t help. Neither did copious pots of boiling water. I felt my jaw clench, shoulders stiffen, and breath shorten. My brain, seeing a break in my supposedly impenetrable shield, saw this as a perfect opportunity to create a disaster movie screenplay on…

standards only look high when you are in the wrong placePress enter or click to view image in full sizeFree Access 🍂Standards are not demands — Standards are awareness.Standards are about stopping picking the mediocre leftover options and calling it a day. When you know you have the potential to create a living night, then you won’t sleep on your days. This is why others like to keep you in the dark, because once you see they lose control over you.Why settle for the knock-off when you can get the original?To settle for means accepting something that isn’t exactly what…

As a humanist celebrant, I was saddened by Rachel Connolly’s conclusion about humanist weddings (What makes a good wedding these days? I say flirting and chaos, but not three days in a French castle, 29 July). She writes: “The idea of being married in a humanist service by someone wearing, say, skinny jeans and a black T-shirt gives me willies.” I must disclose my ownership of several pairs of skinny jeans, but I have not worn these in my role as a celebrant (though never say never – I’m always guided by couples’ dress codes).Ms Connolly seems to have the…

Press enter or click to view image in full sizesource: pinterestand if I’m going to burn in the hell for showing my hair, I will color it into a thousand color of rainbows so i feel magical. I’m going to style it for the 8764 times and grow it like how i want it to be. I will let the wind passing through every strand of my hair and let them mess with it, so I feel alive.and if I’m going to burn in the hell for having the body shape that I’m born with, I’m going to let my…