In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I had the pleasure of a comprehensive but extensive conversation with the wonderful Lindsay C. Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (2015, New Harbinger). We discuss what emotional immaturity means, the types of emotionally immature parent (EIP), emotional loneliness, why an emotionally immature parent appears able to do things with another child or embody characteristics and behaviour that they don’t with us, the impact of their behaviour, parenting as an adult child of an EIP, estrangement, and so much more.
IN THIS EPISODE…
01:21 Personal connection to the book
02:52 Interview with Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson
04:47 Understanding emotional immaturity
06:11 The impact of emotional immaturity on relationships
11:59 The role of emotional loneliness
17:58 The cycle of emotional immaturity
23:57 Reflections on growth
45:13 Types of emotionally immature parents (EIPs)
01:02:30 Favouritism and superficial relationships of emotionally immature parents
01:04:10 How EIPs teach fear of emotions
01:06:55 Stoicism and emotional regulation
01:09:00 Reparenting and emotional expression
01:11:44 Internalisers vs. Externalisers
01:17:42 People pleasing as a ‘superpower’
01:24:30 Parenting with emotional awareness
01:29:22 The power of apology and repair in parenting
01:34:11 Breaking up with an emotionally immature parent
01:36:33 Maintaining self-connection in parent-child relationships
04:18 Addressing childhood trauma and emotional baggage
LINKS MENTIONED AND RECOMMENDED RESOURCES
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: by Lindsay C. Gibson
- New Year, New No, and Recognising the Dark Side of People Pleasing (ep. 276)
- It’s Not That You’re Not ‘Good Enough’ — You’re Over-Responsible (ep. 158)
- Giving Up The Role of Being Over-Responsible
- Stop The ASSumptions: 28 Dodgy Reasons People Give For Choosing Someone For A Relationship
- Roles – “I Want To Break Free” (ep. 128)
- Faux empathy and backdated empathy: When it feels like you’ve been ‘jacked’
- Parents Believing They ‘Had It Worse’ Makes Empathy Difficult for Them
- The Power of Discord: Why the Ups and Downs of Relationships Are the Secret to Building Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust by Ed Tronick and Claudia M. Gold
- Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word (ep. 105)
- Forgiving Me For Abandonment
- My book The Joy of Saying No
- The Age of Obedience – But Will You Get Into Trouble, Though? (ep. 242)
- Let’s Talk About Family Estrangement (ep. 204)
- I Broke Up with My Mother
- Decluttering Exes On Your Phone, Family Secrets, No Plus-One? (ep. 36)
- More Ideas Than Time, How To Avoid Drama With That Family Member, Trusting Yourself (ep. 65)
- Future Faking, Options With Tricky Family Members, Yikes! Another Favour! (ep.10)
- Stop shaming you for having needs
- Let’s Talk About Emotional Needs (ep. 149)
- You ARE Allowed to Have Boundaries With Family
- Some Parents Couldn’t Be Who We Needed, and We Need to Forgive Ourselves
- About Fear of Abandonment and Why We Lower Our Standards
- Conflict Spotlights The Truth of Our More Fragile Relationships (ep. 239)
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