It’s not that I didn’t love you
I saw no one but you
I held no one above you
Your soft touch, your long black hair, and the way you looked at me after making love when your guard was down felt rare
It’s not that I didn’t love you
I would always choose you
All of my free time was spent with you
When I would spiral you smiled
When my grandma died
You held me as I cried
It’s not that I didn’t love you
But I started to see some cracks
I gave grace and would not react
At first we talked but every time we did
It seemed like this beautiful love story was going to end
It’s not that I didn’t love you
But the conversations got harder
Our hearts drifted farther
Things got so messy so quick
You said you were calling it quits
And I didn’t try to change your mind, I admit
It’s not that I didn’t love you
But I was tired of sleepless nights
Weekly fights and no end in sight
You sent me a text a week after it ended
Asking if you can give me a call
I felt my heart fall and suspended
Does she want closure
Is this really over
Will this bring us closer
My neck was tense
Stomach in knots
I knew I could not
It’s not that I didn’t love you
But I had grieved and moved on
What we had was lost and now gone
I chose peace
rather than chaos
