The right person won’t make you feel like you’re asking for too much.
In fact, they will find joy in showing up for you, reassuring you, and simply being there.
But someone who isn’t ready or doesn’t truly want you will make you feel like you’re asking for too much… even when what you’re asking for is the bare minimum.
I’ve been with both kinds of men.
There’s the kind that shows up.
He is always there, almost at my beck and call, unless, of course, I haven’t expressed what I need. Because once I do, you will see him in action.
I love acts of service, and he shows up in that way effortlessly. He makes things easier for me without me having to beg for it.
With him, I never have to question my place in his life. I’m never uncertain.
He knows what to do. He knows how to lead. And that made it easy for me to relax into the relationship.
I’m not submitting out of fear or pressure, it comes naturally, like second nature.
I’ve never felt like I was asking for too much, because he pays attention. Sometimes, he even blames himself for not realizing earlier that I needed something.
He is good for my soul.
Not toxic at all… in fact, I feel spoiled.
Then there’s the man I dated before him.
We fought a lot over the most basic things.
Like how he wouldn’t call or return my calls.
How he wouldn’t text.
How he forgot things that meant so much to me, my birthday, my achievements, my special moments.
He would be on his phone all the time when I was around — texting, replying people, fully present for everyone else.
But once I left, suddenly he “wasn’t with his phone.”
For someone who was clearly addicted to his phone, I knew he was lying.
I found myself constantly complaining.
Reminding him to do the simplest things:
• Get me flowers
• Buy me chocolates
• Take me out
Meanwhile, I was always giving. Always spoiling him. Always showing up.
But instead of trying to understand me, he would lash out.
I became:
• “Too demanding”
• “Always complaining”
• “Always wanting something”
• “Asking for too much”
And slowly… I started losing myself.
I felt unseen.
I felt insecure.
I felt drained.
At some point, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.
I started accusing him of cheating, even when I wasn’t sure. That wasn’t who I was, but that’s what the relationship turned me into.
That was when I knew I couldn’t continue.
I took a step back.
I watched the pattern.
And I made a decision:
I chose to stop hurting.
I chose peace.
I chose myself.
So I left.
And this time, I didn’t look back.
I’m glad I did.
Because I realized something important:
Maybe I wasn’t too much.
Maybe I just wasn’t right for him.
And maybe… he wasn’t right for me either.
There’s someone out there who fits him perfectly and that’s okay.
That doesn’t take anything away from me.
If anything, it made me love myself even more.
And when I met someone who loved me the right way, I recognized it.
And I poured into him… just as he poured into me.
Now, I’m happy.
And I truly hope he is too.
If you’ve ever felt like you were “too much” in a relationship, take a moment to reflect…
Were you really too much?
Or were you just giving your all to the wrong person?
