In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I chat with Amelia Hruby, host of the Off the Grid podcast and author of Your Attention is Sacred Except on Social Media, about our relationship with social media and why it creates so much angst in our lives. Amelia shares her journey from micro-influencer to leaving all platforms in 2021, and we dig into how social media has become entangled with our self-worth, relationships, and work.
Amelia introduces the concept of our subconscious “shopping for flaws and failures” on these platforms, and explains why treating our attention as a sacred resource rather than currency can transform how we engage with technology. Whether you’re wrestling with social media personally or professionally, feeling FOMO, hate-following people, or exhausted by the pressure to perform online, this conversation offers both validation and practical wisdom for reclaiming your attention and living more intentionally.
IN THIS EPISODE…
- Social media makes our subconscious “shop for flaws and failures”. When scrolling, we constantly encounter achievements, appearances, and lifestyles we didn’t even know existed moments before, yet suddenly feel inadequate for not having. This creates a cycle where we give our subconscious hundreds of opportunities daily to decide we’re ‘not good enough’.
- When you find yourself writing elaborate rules for how to engage with an app (downloading only on specific days, limiting what you share, deleting between sessions), recognise this pattern. The only other time many of us need such rigid boundaries is with toxic, codependent relationships. And most of us wouldn’t willingly stay in those situations.
- Our attention is not an economic resource. Social media companies treat attention as currency in the attention economy, but attention is actually a creative, relational, and sacred resource. When you give attention to things you love, it regenerates rather than depletes. Treating attention as something to ‘spend’ rather than intentionally direct leads to feeling drained and disconnected from what matters.
- We constantly surveil ourselves and others, watching lives without participating in them, then creating stories about what we see. This passive observation replaces genuine connection and feeds insecurity, FOMO, and belonging wounds from earlier life stages, making us feel perpetually excluded or inadequate.
- Despite what friends, colleagues, or the internet tells you, being on social media isn’t mandatory for business success, friendships, or living a full life.
LINKS MENTIONED AND RECOMMENDED RESOURCES
- Your Attention is Sacred Except on Social Media
- Amelia Hruby website
- Off the Grid podcast
- How Do You Know If You’re Ready to Date Again? (Hint: It’s Not About Timing)
- Between the Sessions: 30 Signs Someone isn’t Interested (or is Halfheartedly Interested)
- The Age of Surveillance Capitalism book by Shoshana Zuboff
- The Joy of Saying No
- Trusting Myself Through an Unexpected Health Journey (episode re diagnosis)
- Podcast Ep. 232: Columboing New or Prospective Partners on Social Media
- Podcast Ep. 221: Sometimes We’ve Got to Block, Delete, or Unfriend
- Podcast Ep. 96: Is It Time To Go On a Social Media Diet?
- Podcast Ep. 64: Social Media Diet, ‘Stop, Start, Continue’, Quit Online Dating?
- Modern Friendship: Understanding Why We Find It Challenging with Anna Goldfarb
- Why is your ex or their new partner ‘so happy’ on Instagram when they mistreated you?
- Airing our dirty laundry? Or being more open about gaslighting and mistreatment?
- Not over your ex but hate that they’re not contacting you? Read this
- Is It Time To Take a Break From Facebook? When Facebook Is ‘In Charge’ Of Your Self-Esteem
- Podcast Ep. 4: Is Facebook ruling your world?, How are you feeling?, The Booty Call Fairy Tale
- After The Breakup: Do You Need To De-friend Your Ex on Facebook? Dealing With Your Ex’s and Obsessions
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The post Your Attention is Sacred: How Social Media Makes You Shop for Flaws with Amelia Hruby appeared first on Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue.
