Veronika, 18
There have been days when we’ve been on the phone for 10 hours at a stretch
Part of me always hoped I’d have a love story like my parents, who were college sweethearts and are still crazy about each other 30 years later. Maybe that’s why it felt so natural to me that Fabio and I were serious about our future together from the moment he asked me out two years ago.
We were just 16 and 17 at that point, and still dealing with the madness of A-levels (not to mention applying to universities on different sides of the Atlantic), but while most of our friends split up after sixth form, we never even considered it, though admittedly long-distance has been way harder than I expected.
Before Fabio and I started dating, I’d only ever been kissed once – badly – so he’s the first person I’ve shared my body with in any real way. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hook-up culture, but I’ve always been clear that it wasn’t for me; I love the idea of only knowing one person intimately for my entire life.
At first, I put a lot of pressure on myself to have sex. Fabio never, ever rushed me – but I worried if I made him wait too long, he’d get fed up and leave me. Of course he didn’t, and after six months of foreplay, we lost our virginity to each other at his parents’ holiday cottage.
Now that we’ve got the hang of sex, the orgasms are great (I mean really great – I always have multiple), but the feeling of being adored and taken care of before, during and after sex is even more important for my wellbeing. I need Fabio to cook me food, tuck me in and hold me as I drift off to sleep in order to feel loved.
I can’t get any of that through a computer screen, though, and since he left for uni last autumn there have been days when we’ve been on the phone for 10 hours at a stretch. But a FaceTime marathon will never reassure me about the strength of our connection the way his touch does.
There have been a lot of tears, and it’s gotten to the point now that Fabio’s considering moving home for the rest of his degree. I never want him to resent our relationship for making him miss out on different experiences – I’ve cried about that possibility almost as much as I’ve cried about missing him – but I can’t lie: I’m desperate for the long-distance to be over.
Fabio, 19
When I’ve flown back to see her, we’ve tried to make up for lost time
Before I met Veronika, I’d never been attracted to anyone that strongly. I’ll always remember the day we took a shower together a month or so into dating – we figured it would help us get more comfortable being naked in front of each other. After we’d taken off our clothes, both of us just fell silent, because it was so awkward and amazing and bonding all at once.
I didn’t know it was even possible to feel that close to someone. Two years later, I can’t imagine having sex with anyone else; for me, the physical act is so connected with Veronika, and how much I love her.
That said, being 3,000 miles apart for the last seven months has been tough. We’ve tried phone sex and sexting a couple of times, but it’s completely different from being together. For Veronika, aftercare is such a massive part of sex – spooning once we’ve finished, my bringing her a glass of water or an extra blanket – and when that’s off the cards, it feels a little hollow to her, which I totally get. (I’ve always said to her that she’s in the driver’s seat, sexually; I’m just happy to be along for the ride.)
When I’ve flown back to see her, we’ve tried to make up for lost time, of course, but you’re aware that you’ve got limited days with each other: once I had the flu for my entire visit, and just had sex with a fever regardless.
It’s harder to reassure Veronika how committed I am to her without being in the same room, too. I trust her 100%, but she gets upset if she hears other girls’ names, so I try not to even mention them now.
We’ve bickered more these last six months, too, but it’s just because we miss each other so much – to the point that I’ve applied to transfer home. I’d always dreamed of studying abroad, but that was before I met the girl I’m planning on marrying as soon as I get her parents’ approval. Of course, both of us need to have our own lives, but on the other hand … when you’re this sure you’re meant to be with someone, why suffer through being apart?
