When you arrive at your parents’ house for the holidays with a bottle of wine in hand, it’s always with an ounce of hope and a glisten in your eye. Sure, you cried at the dinner table during Thanksgiving ‘23 and nearly blocked everyone after Christmas of 2024, but you still show up thinking, “Maybe this year will be different.”
Even if you go in with positive vibes and good intentions, there’s always a chance you’ll end up hiding in the bathroom to escape toxicity and cringe-worthy moments with the fam. While you can’t predict what they’ll say or do, you can control how you react to the stress. Quick breaks and deep breaths are key, but did you know you can also do Reiki on yourself?
The idea spawned from Jonathan Van Ness’s new Patreon channel, which launched in November and includes a special called Sleep with JVN. In it, Van Ness speaks with various wellness experts about how to relax and get better sleep, including Reiki specialist and sound artist Lindsay Monal. Before doing a sound healing session, she mentioned that you can do Reiki on yourself as a way to wind down at night. I immediately wanted to know if it could also help with holiday drama, not just for me, but for the thousands of people like me who feel a bit tense as they head into the season.
“That was my first Reiki session that I’ve ever tried,” Van Ness later tells me of the experience via Zoom, noting how it seemed to release bad energy, and even made it easier to sleep that night. “I think that’s our parasympathetic nervous system healing,” Van Ness says, adding that self-reiki is a completely free self-care tool you can do anytime, anywhere — including after a tense family dinner. Here’s what to know.
What Is Reiki?
According to Monal, Reiki (pronounced ray-kee) is a Japanese practice that means “universal life force energy.” It’s a form of healing that’s typically provided by a practitioner who gently hovers their hands over your body while channeling the energy. It’s said to calm the nervous system, promote relaxation, and aid sleep.
While it takes years of practice to become a true Reiki master, you can do a simpler version on yourself that Monal jokingly refers to as “Reiki Lite,” which can be used as self-care.
Whether you’re stressing at the airport, feeling fatigued after a long dinner, or trying to recover from yet another argument with your mom, self-Reiki could be just what you need to feel calm again. “The idea is it helps to remove blockages,” Monal says. “When you’re not sleeping well, or you have a difficult conversation, your body holds onto all of that energy. A Reiki practice is just helping to clear out the stuff that got stuck in you.”
If nothing else, Reiki will provide a quiet, peaceful moment for yourself. “What I find during the holidays is that people deplete their self-care and then go so hardcore on the people-pleasing,” Van Ness says, adding it can lead to Christmastime crash-outs. Whether you meditate, do Reiki, or prioritize sleep, Van Ness says a little extra love for yourself will help you get through the season with ease.
How To Do Self-Reiki
Self-reiki is similar to the placebo effect in that it works better if you believe it will work. “The moment you let your mind decide that you can affect energy — because you can — you have to trust that,” Monal says.
- To start, she recommends retreating to a quiet room and sitting or lying down. If you can, dim the lights, play soothing music, or light a candle.
- Settle into a comfortable position and pay attention to the feeling of the ground beneath your feet or your back on the couch, just like you would during a meditation.
- Slowly breathe in and out.
- Gently place your hands somewhere on your body that needs attention, like your heart if you’re anxious or stressed, your stomach if you’re tense, or on your head if you have a headache. Rest or hover your hands over this area with your fingers together. “That’s said to keep the energy a little bit more directed,” she says.
- Visualize a ball of white or golden light moving from your palms. Energetically send love and healing — or whatever word feels right — into that part of your body, and continue for three to five minutes. “It’s good if you can do it for a longer amount of time, because then you really let your body shift,” she says, but even a quick 30 seconds can promote peace.
Trying It Out
While I was lucky to have a relatively calm Thanksgiving this year, there were still several moments during the long weekend where I really needed a moment to myself. When tensions rise, I typically step outside and take a few deep breaths of cold air. Either that, or I’ll silently stir the green bean casserole while staring off into space. This year? I wrangled universal energy to calm my nerves.
Like almost anyone visiting family, I experienced a few tense moments in the kitchen, as well as the general stress of being outside my usual routine. With Monal’s tips in mind, I snuck away, closed my eyes, placed my hands lightly over my racing heart, and imagined a soothing white light traveling from my palms into my body. I repeated the phrase “I’m calm” while slowly breathing in and out. Despite the chaos and chatter in the next room, I found it easy to create a magical moment just for me.
Just knowing I had my new “Reiki Lite” skills in my back pocket also provided a welcome relief. Whenever I felt my blood pressure might rise, I knew I could hurry away to a quiet corner and channel the light again. It got me through the stress of a busy holiday, and will definitely come in handy for the winter holidays as well. If you want to prevent a crashout too, definitely keep self-reiki in mind.
