Little did I understand in this life that no one is your “Aly”, you are own your own. Be it you parents, partner, siblings, friends, husband etc unless you share a same goal, or a goal that benefits the other party.
They are not supporting you for you, they are supporting you for their interest lies in it. This realisation hit me hard.
Marriages are breaking because of Strong women??? —
You know why they say in marriage, or a toxic marriage, to have a child and it will save the marriage..? because they are trying to add a same goal strategy in such an artificial way in the life of a couple. If we have to do arrangements for something to work, that means it’s not the true nature, and anything that is not natural, should not be done at the first place itself … and are these efforts and strategies really working? Except that it just creates a show in the society, pretending they are fulfilling the society demand, but if you see inside their home, they are living a hell life and the children are getting raised in a toxic environment and become a copy of their parents and does the same when they grow up.
For women in south east asian culture, there are so many restrictions to a woman, since they were child, and they use to listen to such things so often whenever they ask for permission from their parents — “do it with your husband”, “do whatever you want to do after marriage”, “ travel wherever you want but only with your husband”, “ wear whatever clothes you want but after marriage” So they have confused the idea of marriage to the concept of freedom.. but when the reality hits, they get into more depression. Marriage instead of union of two people, has became such a strange thing. But no one tells us about it until we fall into it and suffer.
Instead of a sacred union of two people. Marriage has became just a chance for a woman to give birth to a man for themselves, who will eventually protect her and provide her.. and thats where the problem lies. The man is too much busy in protecting and providing their mothers, that they have no space for the woman who they call their wife. Or if he gives a little priority to his wife, their own parents starts to call him as a pervert who is choosing wife because he is greedy of sex, or such shameful remarks they give, they start hitting at a man’s weak spot — his ego. The control is too much that It takes courage for a man, to stand against their family’s politics that is working against his wife and his children and his future, but here they are failing to protect.
Then, the wife start seeking a son for herself too, because she thinks thats the only way to get a man for himself, who will take care of herself, and the loop becomes never ending. Thats why in southeast asian countries, women are obsessed with having a son ( male child). They will cry, go to priests, temples to pray for a son, and they will keep getting pregnant until they have a son, or at the end adopts a son regardless how many daughters they already have.
Who will stop this non sense?
It’s a whole system.
I wish our mother had told us the truth, and then let us decide if we want to be the part of this institution of marriage or not.
I am not against marriages at all, It’s the most beautiful and sacred thing ever a Man and Woman does. A true companionship and endless love. They both play roles of their own, which makes their union into a power pack combo, but what has it turned into? OMG. Are we really signing up for this?
The true concept of marriage is actually a union of a strong woman and a strong man. Only a strong individual can take such a responsibility that comes under this sacred relationship and to the journey it takes both of them into. There is no place of a weak woman or a weak man in it. Perhaps some other agenda has twisted the concept completely and ruined this concept totally. When two strong individual unites, miracles happens and with two weak people, or even one weak person out of both can cause disaster. They both has to be on the same page, because like that they can never be aligned, and alignment is all that matters.
They say women are having opportunities now a days, now they have their rights, they are becoming stronger, which is becoming a threat for marriages and a major reason for divorces!!! but is that really true?
Marriages are not breaking because of a strong women, they are breaking because of a weak man who is choosing validation and society acceptance, than standing for whats right.
