Pain is not weakness and taking care of yourself is not selfish.
I’m only human. Yes I am strong and capable but I am still human. I still hurt, I still fall down, and I still struggle.
No this won’t be the end of me, but I’m still only human.
I am not a machine. I cannot hold the weight of everything forever. I cannot plaster on a smile for the sake of other people’s comfort while my bones and muscles scream in pain.
I am not a machine. I cannot do everything while the scars of the past tighten their grip on my mind and spirit.
Sometimes I have nothing positive to add to the end of the sentence. No beautiful tapestry to be woven from the golden thread of suffering.
Sometimes I must simply sit with the suffering and allow myself to admit that I am in pain.
So I will let the tears flow like waterfalls and cleanse my soul as I scream out “I’m only human. I’M ONLY HUMAN. I’M STILL HUMAN.”
But just because someone can do something doesn’t mean it is easy. And admitting that something is too much to handle, or allowing yourself to rest or say no to something is not weakness.
Admitting that you are in pain is not weakness and prioritizing your needs is not selfish.
Sometimes there is no beauty to be painted from the ashes of pain.
Sometimes all I can do is sit in the storm as it passes, cry with the rain, and shout into the thunder “I’M ONLY HUMAN.”
And so I will.
I will sit here with the storm. With my battered and weak human body, with my terrified mind and spirit, and the pain and scars that I carry both inside and out.
Even the strong need to be weak sometimes.
Because they know it is not a weakness to admit that you are in pain, to ask for help, or to speak the truth that you are only human.
I’m only human not a machine. I carry pain, I fall down, I am far from perfect, there is darkness in me, and I often mess up. But there are also courage, and resilience in me.
I will have the strength to be open about my weaknesses so that others may have the courage to do the same.
