Sometimes I slip up.
Sometimes, without meaning to, a piece of what Iโm really feeling spills out.
And the people who care, they notice.
They ask me if somethingโs wrong, if Iโm okay.
And in that moment, I want to fall apart in front of them.
and tell them everything Iโve been carrying.
I wish I could just let it all out
the weight, the sadness, the tiredness that never really goes away.
But instead, I smile.
I shake my head.
And I say Iโm fine.
Because even though I want them to know,
Iโm scared to actually say it out loud.
Iโm scared that if they really see me, the real me, the one thatโs not always strong, not always happy
theyโll walk away.
Iโm scared theyโll realize that the version of me they love is only the one that keeps pretending to be okay.
And if they knew the truth, if they saw how much I hide,
maybe they wouldnโt love me anymore.
So I stay quiet.
I hide it behind laughter and busy days and โIโm just tired.โ
Not because I donโt trust them,
but because I donโt trust myself
I donโt trust that Iโll still be enough once my broken pieces are out in the open.
I want them to know.
But I donโt want to tell them.
Because telling them feels like standing naked in a storm,
and I donโt know if I can survive being that vulnerable.
So I keep it inside.
Hoping that somehow,
theyโll understand without me having to say a single word
โ by someone who is learning to love herself
