Alright, I must be truthful. For a very long time, my early morning routine consisted of checking Instagram. Every morning, I would put down my phone and feel worse about myself than when I had first taken it up.
Better employment was held by someone. There was someone traveling. Someone appeared more calm and collected. It appeared that someone had everything worked out. And me? I just felt like I was falling behind. It’s as if I missed the communication that everyone received on how to live.
Does that sound familiar? Yes. I believed that.
When I realized what I was doing to myself
I was talking to a friend one day when she said something that truly affected me. She said, “Tanisha, you’re comparing your everyday life to everyone else’s highlight reel.” And I took a moment to sit with that.
She was correct. I wasn’t judging myself against actual people. I was judging myself against the best version of someone’s day, the one they decided to share with the world. Nobody shares their messy rooms, their difficult days, or their times of inner doubt. However, I was comparing my entire life to their greatest experiences. That is unfair to everyone, but it is especially unfair to me.
What I actually did to stop
I won’t pretend it was easy or that I figured it out overnight. But here’s what genuinely helped me.
First, I started limiting my time on social media. Not deleting it — just setting a 20-minute limit. That small boundary made a huge difference. Less scrolling meant less comparing. Simple as that.
Second, I started paying more attention to my own progress. Instead of looking at where someone else was, I started asking myself — where was I six months ago? And honestly? I had grown a lot. I just never noticed because I was too busy looking sideways instead of looking back at how far I’d come.
Third — and this one sounds small but it’s not — I started being genuinely happy for other people. When someone got something good, instead of feeling bad about myself, I’d think “that’s amazing for them.” Slowly, their wins stopped feeling like my losses.
How life feels now
I’m not going to sit here and say I never compare myself to anyone anymore. That would be a lie. But it happens way less. And when it does, I catch it faster. I remind myself that I’m on my own path, running my own race — and that race doesn’t have anyone else in it.
My mornings feel calmer now. I feel lighter. And the energy I used to spend feeling bad about myself? I use it to actually work on my own life.
If you’re in that comparison trap right now — I see you. It’s exhausting. But you can get out of it. Start small. Be a little kinder to yourself today than you were yesterday.
That’s enough. You are enough.
