On projection, emotional manipulation, and walking away with my power intact
How do you let go of a fantasy you’ve been shaping in your mind for years?
It wasn’t just the idea of love — but the illusion that he could provide it.
I kept hoping he’d grow into the version I saw in my head — the one who wanted what I wanted. A love that’s magnetic and real. Something that lights me up and makes me feel safe.
But that version didn’t exist. It was mine. A projection.
When I noticed it, I felt a wave of grief and disappointment. Deep down, I knew. My intuition had been whispering it for a while. But my logical mind — and my desire — wanted to go down the rabbit hole one last time, just to make sure.
This time, though, I entered with open eyes. Observing. Ready to face the truth with courage.
The despair still lingers.
I understand, it’s the disappointment. I was hoping that what I deeply desire — that sexual spark, the feeling of being lit up — would show up in the form of a man who wants what I want.
Not meaningless sex. But love. Deep, trusting, loyal, unconditional love.
