I started asking my friends and just about anyone about really random things; one example is whether there’s such a thing as ‘types’ when choosing partners, or if it’s a modern-day dysmorphia of true love. One friend of mine said they haven’t quite thought about that, but they don’t consider finding a specific type to like someone. One said they got into such a healthy relationship so quickly that considering types never occurred to them, while others say that it is really important to have standards, which is why types exist.
I wanted to keep an open mind to this conversation, because at first I was adamant about finding a only specific type of men attractive; this type did not emerge from just one day of sitting down and listing all of the qualities I want in a man, folding the page and keeping it under my pillow but quite a few years of understanding and experimenting what corelates to my personal needs and what doesn’t. However, after every man of “my type” disappointed me greatly, I started questioning whether my type was toxic and just a reflection of what was unhealed within me. And so it led me to start asking my friends. However, the truth is that their perception made me appear even more disfigured.
After several nights of calling my best friend at 3 a.m. I came to the conclusion that whatever works for me is for me. Maybe the people I liked after finding my true type were not at all what I wanted, and they did not meet my standards. Maybe an unhealed part of me was seeking them, but it doesn’t necessarily have to mean something had to be wrong with me that I allow certain things in a partner and certain things I don’t.
I have always been picky: about clothes, food, friends, quite literally anything and everything; so why should I settle for someone who cannot even match my humor?
We all have preferences; it’s time we start living up to them. However, this does open a conversation of true love, and it’s literally just fate because it is absolutely not something that we can chase. We never know where we might just meet the love of our life.
