In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I chat with Toni Jones, founder of Shelf Help, the world’s first self-help book club. Toni’s read over 1,000 self-help books in the last decade after burning out from tabloid journalism and a life of heavy drinking and people pleasing. We dig into the shame stories we carry from childhood, why we blame our younger selves for things that weren’t our fault, learning to quiet down enough to hear our inner wisdom, and her new limited-edition book, You: A Beginner’s Guide, published with The Pound Project, about connecting with your past, present, and future selves. If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying old narratives that need rewriting, or wondered how to actually hear what you need, this conversation is for you.
IN THIS EPISODE…
- Toni found self-help at crisis point after burning out from tabloid journalism and people pleasing, starting with Paul McKenna’s Change Your Life in Seven Days, which introduced the revolutionary idea that she could actually change how she thought and felt rather than accepting a fixed mindset. The first book took her a year to read because everything was brand new, but it sent her down a decade-long journey of reading over 1,000 self-help books and eventually founding Shelf Help, a global self-help book club, because doing this work in community is more powerful than doing it alone.
- The shame stories we tell ourselves from childhood moments shape our adult identity until we consciously intervene and question them. We’re often incredibly unkind to younger versions of ourselves, blaming them for things that were never their fault.
- Changing your relationship with alcohol (or anything else with a compulsive and strong pull on our identity) sometimes requires first building self-trust and self-esteem. Toni held onto drinking for five years into her self-help journey, even as she worked on mental and emotional health, because it was such a core part of her identity. But her changing relationship with herself paved the way to finally being able to confront (and change) her relationship with alcohol.
- Slowing down and doing things that feel counterintuitive and even ‘crazy’ to the you that’s learned to, for instance, hustle, push through, have so much of your identity tied with work or pleasing others. However, it creates the quiet space to hear your inner wisdom. but you don’t have to wait for a crisis point to support yourself.
- You: A Beginner’s Guide. Toni’s limited-edition book (available only until 26 May 2026) connects you with your past self to understand what shaped you and give compassion to younger versions of yourself; your future self to get intentional about who you’re becoming; and your present self through life support (habits, routines, self-care, boundaries). Change starts with your relationship with yourself.
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