Q: I broke up with my boyfriend of three months because my college spring break is coming up and I want to meet a hot guy on vacation. My friends think I’m crazy for this and keep telling me that spring break flings “never end well.” Am I horrible for wanting one anyway? — Tia*
A: Girl, I’m on your side. What is college if not for making some (moderately) unwise decisions and learning from them? I get where your friends are coming from — it sounds like maybe one of them had their own vacation romance that went south, so they’re salty and want to protect you from the fame fate. But you get to make that choice for yourself and see how it plays out.
One of my favorite influencers, Serena Kerrigan, uses the catchphrase “do it for the plot” to describe situations that will inevitably make a good story later. It may not go well, but the material you’ll get out of it will entertain your besties at brunch for years to come. A spring-break fling is the perfect example of a “do it for the plot” decision. It may be ill-advised in terms of actually finding someone to date — unless you miraculously meet a man on vacation who lives in your city, is emotionally available, and wants something serious — but it will make your spring break memorable at the very least.
You have my full blessing to proceed here (not that you needed to hear it from me). I just have two suggestions to make sure your vacationship is spicy and fun without becoming traumatic:
- Don’t abandon your friends for a guy you meet on vacay. If you’re going on a bestie trip, remember to prioritize spending time with them. It’s not worth risking your friendships for a dude you met five minutes ago at the club. Hang out with him during your off time — like in the afternoons when everyone else is taking a nap or meeting for a drink before the planned group dinner — but don’t blow off your BFFs because you’re totally infatuated with a new crush.
- Do not plan on seeing him after the trip is done. A vacation fling can feel super romantic and magical, and it’s easy to trick your brain into thinking this is the love of your life — because wouldn’t that be the perfect rom-com ending? You’re in a beautiful place with no responsibilities, totally disconnected from “regular life.” He might seem perfect in this environment, but keep in mind, you don’t actually know much about him. This could be an Alex from Love Is Blind situation, where he seems like your dream man in the pods, but then you get home, and it turns out he doesn’t have a job or home base and is being dodgy about all his past relationships. Avoid the heartbreak and cut things off before you get on the plane to go home.
Following these guidelines will help you keep this spring-break fling in the category of “fun story for the group chat” rather than “life-ruining situationship that also pissed off my friends.” But otherwise, please go forth and have the time of your life. What’s spring break without a little fun chaos?
*Name has been changed.
Have a question for Sarah to answer on the next Dating, Decoded? Submit it here.
