Pro tip: “Communicate your situation before or as soon as you arrive,” Erica Turner, LMFT, owner of Rosewater Therapy in Alexandria, Virginia, tells SELF. In other words, let your loved ones know upfront that you may need to step away—to your room or even a nearby coffee shop to “really focus.” When you’ve already explained why you’re disappearing, your relatives will be less likely to feel blindsided or offended.
4. Head to the porcelain sanctuary.
Let’s say you’re stuck at an uncomfortable family dinner: Perhaps your loud-mouthed uncle is going off about his political views (again). Or your well-meaning aunt won’t stop grilling you about still being single. By all means, you should feel empowered to speak up for yourself and let them know you don’t want to engage. That said, sometimes in these high-stress situations, you may just want to leave and, well, not deal.
Dr. Johnson’s suggestion: Make a beeline for the bathroom for a mini break “and do some deep breathing or put cold water on your face or scroll [on your smartphone] for a few minutes.” No one is really going to question you about taking care of a natural, biological function, right? This is exactly why heading to the loo is such an easy cover for when you need a short snippet of guaranteed alone time—or just need to hide long enough for the focus of the conversation to shift.
5. Take the kiddos on a park playdate.
No matter how old you are, sitting through heavy or boring “adult” conversations (about the economy, politics, or your job) can be draining. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or need a little breather, offer to take the smallest family members to the park.
For one, it gives you a legit excuse to slip away without having to explain yourself. Plus, you’re doing a task that is helpful—hello, free childcare! It also “gives you an opportunity to get a break from socializing, or to engage in something that’s more low stimulation, and then re-regulate and come back,” says Dr. Johnson. What better way to counteract adult stress than by soaking up the kiddos’ carefree, silly, and nonjudgmental energy?
6. Consider a “no-talking-required” activity, like going to the movies.
Needing space doesn’t mean you have to hide out in your childhood bedroom alone (though if that’s what feels right, a short-and-sweet “Hey, I’m going to go up to my room for about half an hour and chill, and then I’ll come back down when dinner’s ready” works, too). One easy way to recharge—without shutting out your loved ones—is to choose a low-key, low-stimulation activity, like going to the movie theater.
