The prosecution: Melanie
I want to live a healthier life too, but removing all plastics is unrealistic and unaffordable
My girlfriend, Amy, has become increasingly concerned about microplastics and environmental toxins, and it is starting to feel a little too much. It all began after she watched online content about how plastics affect fertility, and has escalated into a broader effort to remove anything she considers “toxic” from our home.
We have thrown out hundreds of pounds’ worth of cleaning products and replaced toothbrushes and dental floss. I came home from work to find all our plastic food containers had been binned, and now she wants to discuss replacing furniture, like swapping our white plastic dining table for an oak one.
In principle, I understand it will be better for us. I share her desire to live a healthier lifestyle, especially as we are trying for a baby using a donor and I will be the one carrying the pregnancy. However, the pace and the intensity of the change feels a bit unmanageable.
We can’t realistically eliminate all plastics and find alternatives overnight. Unfortunately, the world is full of plastic and so is our home: we have polyester cushions, plastic shoes and appliances that I’m not prepared to chuck out. Attempting a total removal feels financially and emotionally unsustainable. Buying a new dining table won’t be easy on our wallets.
We are both self-employed and saving for a baby, so we need to be frugal. Plastic-free products are often deemed as specialist and it’s hard to get cheap alternatives. When I found Amy had splurged on all these organic cleaning products I was shocked, because they cost about £200.
At the moment, it feels as if any “normal” behaviour is deemed to be unsafe by her. If I pick up a plastic bottle of water, Amy will snatch it from my hands and say it’s poisonous.
I support her decision to live with fewer toxins, but her level of vigilance is harming our wellbeing. I want us to make healthier choices, but to do so gradually and realistically, rather than through sweeping changes that leave us feeling anxious and restricted.
The defence: Amy
I’m conscious of what we’re exposed to as we’re trying for a baby and I want the best for them
Plastics and chemicals are everywhere. I’m not pretending we can eliminate them all, but I’d like to make some changes. I don’t think the only rational response when presented with all the information about toxins and plastics is to shrug and accept it without question.
It’s not that hard to make some changes. Mel says: “Microplastics are everywhere, so where does it end?” But she should be saying: “What can we do to start?”
Small changes help improve our health. I watched a documentary and it really scared me: I learned that just brushing my teeth with my normal toothbrush was releasing hundreds of thousands of microplastics into my mouth every day. These are linked to illness and altered brain functionality.
I didn’t start looking into endocrine disruptors and microplastics because I wanted to overhaul our home overnight. It was because we’re trying for a baby and that makes me more conscious of what we’re exposed to. If we have a child, I want them to have the best start in life and be as healthy as possible.
Sometimes Mel acts as if I’m trying to dismantle our entire life, but I’m just trying to make things better. Switching cleaning products and replacing plastic food storage with glass will benefit us for years. When I threw our cleaning products away, it was because I had done the research and knew how much better nontoxic ones would be for us. That wasn’t a gradual adjustment, but I don’t regret it.
I feel overwhelmed sometimes, but being told to “calm down” or “take it slow” doesn’t help. I don’t want to make our lives miserable. I want us to make informed choices together.
Not drinking from plastic bottles is an easy change we can make, as is using better cleaning products. Mel and I need to work together on this, and active participation is important to me. If my decisions seem rash, it’s only because Mel hasn’t heard all of the facts. If she watched the same documentary she would feel the same. I don’t want to scare her, but making our home safer for our unborn child is a priority.
The jury of Guardian readers
Getting rid of plastic won’t make Amy and Melanie’s home healthier if they replace it with pressure and resentment. Amy’s pursuit is noble, but her cold-turkey approach risks alienating Melanie from the cause.
Estelle, 27
They both want to live with fewer toxins, but Amy shouldn’t decide the pace at which they do this without agreement from Melanie. Amy throwing out all plastic containers and cleaning products without any discussion contradicts her claim that she wants “to make informed choices together”.
Val, 68
Life’s too short to make it hard for yourself. Carrying containers everywhere and only going to specialist retailers? No one’s got time for that when there’s work and chores to be done. Changing your life after one documentary is extreme, and Amy should consider the benefits of plastic.
Ivan, 29
We can’t live perfect lives, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to make better choices. If they plan together what can change now and what can wait, Melanie might feel part of it instead of feeling it is something being done to her.
Michael, 39
Amy is valiant in trying to live a healthier lifestyle, but not making it a joint decision with Melanie seems to be detrimental to their relationship, and they need to be working together when they have a child. I wonder if Amy’s obsession might be masking a deeper issue.
Jon, 50
Now you be the judge
In our online poll, tell us: should Amy bin her hatred of plastics?
The poll closes on Wednesday 3 June at 9am BST
Last week’s results
We asked, should Martin stop telling his wife how to mop the floor?
98% of you said yes – Martin is guilty
2% of you said no – Martin is innocent
