What to Do With Your Wedding Ring After a Divorce

When you’re dividing up your marital property during divorce proceedings, your ring isn’t just a valuable asset: It’s a symbol of the commitment, joy, and love you felt for your partner on your wedding day. As a result, it can be difficult to decide what to do with your wedding ring after a divorce. Regardless of whether you opt to keep, sell, or repurpose this physical representation of your marriage, each option provides a unique set of emotional challenges and benefits. 

For some, the ring is a symbol of something in the past—and should be treated as such. However, for others, especially if the divorce was mutual, the diamond may symbolize a fond era of your life. It may represent you spending time with the person with whom you had your children or a wedding where all of your loved ones gathered to celebrate you. Ultimately, there’s no rule surrounding what wedding and engagement rings should or shouldn’t symbolize to you. Yet it’s important to consider this when you’re going through a divorce. Before deciding what to do with your engagement or wedding ring, make sure to take a breath—and avoid making a rash decision. Once you’ve taken some time to process this change, consider the options you have in front of you. Below, a legal expert and two experienced jewelers weigh in on your options for letting go, holding on, and moving forward.

Who Gets the Ring After a Divorce?

If a couple calls off their wedding before saying “I do,” the laws dictating who gets to keep the engagement ring vary by state. In many states, engagement rings are considered “conditional gifts,” which means they may be returned to the giver if the wedding doesn’t take place. In other states, the question of who keeps a ring after a broken engagement is decided in part by who called off the wedding. However, once a couple is married, the conditions have been met and the recipient keeps the ring, says Alyease Jones, a family lawyer in Chicago, Illinois, where engagement rings are conditional gifts. “Once you have fulfilled that promise or obligation of marriage, then the ring belongs to that spouse,” she says.

Wedding rings are slightly more complicated, and post-divorce ownership of a wedding ring will also vary from state to state (and couple to couple). Rings exchanged during the marriage ceremony can be considered marital property if the couple purchased the rings together, or they can be seen as gifts if each spouse purchased a ring for the other. Additionally, if one partner particularly splurged on a wedding band for the other, that partner might request a partial refund when the marital assets are divided. 

Heirloom rings passed down from the giver’s side of the family add another layer of intricacy to the process; despite the emotion involved with giving an heirloom ring, they’re typically treated the same as a new ring under the law. If an heirloom ring is given as a gift, then the recipient can keep it after the wedding. However, the recipient might also offer the giver the opportunity to buy the ring back or give up other assets of a comparable cost when the marital property is divided. A prenuptial agreement might specify the process for dealing with the rings in case of a divorce, or, says Jones, language in the divorce might require the rings to be passed down to the couple’s children. “You try to carve out things that work for the family,” she says.

The ethics of keeping, selling, or repurposing an heirloom ring are also important to consider, says Corina Madilian, co-owner and chief designer at Single Stone. “I recommend that if the marriage produced children, then the rings should be set aside to be passed down through the children,” she says. “If the couple did not have children, I think the recipient should return the rings to the family. I know this isn’t always the popular vote, but I do believe in the importance of preserving heirlooms within families.”

What to Do With Your Wedding Ring After Your Divorce

If you do maintain possession of your ring, you may be wondering what you should do with it following your divorce. Here, our experts break down three different options to be aware of. 

Keep It

While your immediate instinct post-divorce may be to unload your wedding set as quickly as possible, it’s worth taking a breath before you make a decision that’s as permanent as selling or repurposing. “We completely believe in the sentimentality of wedding rings and believe that when a marriage comes to an end, it doesn’t need to be the end of the rings,” says Madilian. “Wedding rings are used to symbolize the union between two people and their journey to this point in their lives. Both good and bad marriages shape who we become and help form our path, and the rings can continue to represent a time of growth for us.”

If you choose to store your wedding set, Madilian recommends cleaning the rings and letting them dry before placing them in a sturdy, protective box. “I think it’s nice to include a message or card detailing dates, and maybe even a happy memory to carry forth,” she says. “While we may decide not to wear them anymore, they are a perfect symbol to pass down to our children or even a favorite relative as a representation of love and sentimentality.”

Sell It

Selling your rings may also feel like the right step forward. “Many people choose to sell their wedding jewelry, and this brings them a sense of closure,” says Jennie Kwon of Jennie Kwon Designs. “It’s symbolic of them leaving that chapter behind and starting a new one.”

You may not be able to put a value on that sense of closure, but you can put a price on a set of rings. However, be aware that it’s likely to be less than you expected. Selling a wedding and engagement ring set together may net you more than selling them separately, but most rings resell for only a fraction of their original value. “I want to point out that unless the wedding rings are truly something special and collectible, wedding rings are not an investment,” says Madilian. “Once clients hear what the buy-back price is for their wedding rings, they usually prefer to make something new.”

Repurpose It

Using the stones from your engagement ring and wedding band to create a new piece—whether for yourself or to pass down as an heirloom—may offer you closure without losing sentimentality. “A lot of our clients find this process to be cathartic in a way, taking something that may bring them pain or sadness, and transforming it into something they love,” says Kwon. “Other clients are almost celebratory when they redesign their piece. They view it as a celebration of rediscovering and reprioritizing themselves and find it empowering—it’s a part of their healing process.” Madilian has had a similar experience with her clients. “Most marriages, good or bad, had some happy memories,” she says. “There is so much to be said about moving forward and our jewelry can have a part in that. It’s part of the metamorphosis.”

Madilian and Kwon both work closely with clients to create bespoke jewelry pieces using existing gems. Note that the pieces that can be made from a wedding set will depend on the number, size, and quality of the stones you have to work with. “For instance, if you have a very large, heavy center stone, we wouldn’t recommend a super dainty shank as it would likely not be able to support your center stone,” says Kwon. However, repurposing your rings doesn’t necessarily mean you have to create new bands. “Some clients choose to use their stones in a beautiful custom necklace or earrings,” says Kwon. “We’ve also had clients split their stones into two or three different pieces, either for themselves or for their children, which I think is a lovely idea.”

While the stones can become the focal point of a new piece, the metal is harder to reuse. “In most cases, we will simply melt down the remaining metal and provide the client with a credit for their scrap gold,” says Madilian. “We don’t reuse the same metal, as this needs to be cleaned and assayed for optimal results. Most individuals love and cherish their wedding jewelry and have an emotional attachment to it. When marriages end, we may jump to get rid of these items but for many, once the sting is over, it is such a joy to repurpose these items into new pieces to move forward with.” 

Where to Sell Your Wedding Ring

While understanding the appraisal value of your ring can help you decide what to do with it, Madilian cautions that you should not expect to sell your ring for the appraisal price. “While stones can and do appreciate, expect to receive an offer that will surely sound less than what you were expecting to receive,” she says. “Appraisal values are not an indication of what you will be able to sell your rings for. If in fact, the rings hold no sentimental value for you, selling them for an amount you are comfortable with may be the fastest and best way to get rid of them.”

A trusted jeweler should be your first stop when trying to sell a ring; these experts can consign or buy your ring directly. “I also like exploring companies, such as The Real Real and Circa, auction houses, or even a local consignment shop,” says Madilian. “A close friend may also be interested in acquiring them and may be able to provide a reasonable offer. While I know Facebook and other marketplaces are available, I am not a fan of using either of these options because of the risk of exposure and lack of security.”