Within marriage, or any relationship in general, love is not enough to keep it afloat. Other things also support the whole concept (mostly material ones).
I was reuniting with a good old friend of mine. We talked about our views on relationship and love, a topic we never came across when we were younger.
Mind you, we have been friends for almost 20 years.
To my surprise, she sees love as a liability, because she knows that people who give her love set some kind of expectation, (and most likely) requiring reciprocation.
She doesn’t want that.
Living as a free being is in our nature as humans. Why do we chain ourselves to something (supposedly) called love, on purpose?
And honestly, I found myself agreeing to this.
There are so many types of love (Thanks to movies and books, I am exposed to the variety), and perhaps we both see love as something that should be freeing.
The existence of expectation (which she feels like burdening her), is ruining our idea of love.
Acceptance of a concept, an item, a person, as perfect and imperfect as it is, that’s love.
Then I think to myself: in that case, expectations exist in relationships, not love.
Well indeed, we know the concept of give and take in relationships.
Somehow, not everyone knows how to give and take equally.
Is this a problem though? Should we give more than we receive? or receive more than we give?
A priest in my church once said “When you give something, you actually accept something”.
This sentence sticks to me to this day.
Giving is an act where actually, you receive something in instant. Not always tangible, perhaps a feeling of contentment, a feeling of satisfaction.
Being useful to others requires a huge sacrifice: empathy and sensibility. These are qualities we tend to neglect.
In an era where visibility is considered an art, validation is the desired reciprocation. Somehow love is no longer embodied like a warm fuzzy feeling, but a verification process of a common experience.
This took me back to my dear friend’s story, is love a liability now? is it a constant search for validation, of knowing that we are lovable enough? that we are human enough?
