It’s me your everything. Naturally wavy and dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and a noticeably larger-than-average head. I’m going to show up for an interview where you work. I won’t know who you are yet, and I won’t notice when you first lay eyes on me. I’ll wear wide, high-waisted, black dress trousers. Barely covering my ankles. Definitely won’t hide my beat-up Doc Marten oxfords, I’ll convince myself are dress shoes. The blouse I’ll wear will complement my pale tone and natural highlights. A mirage of abstract shapes, in purples and grays. Small ruffles at the collar, wrist, and hem, where it will be cropped to my pants. I will have just changed in my car. Removed the blasting neon red button-up in a garage I’ll only pay an hour to use. The uniform will sit in my front seat as a reminder when I get back of how I want the job to be with the man I love. A man I’ll be sleeping with, who will break off his engagement because of me. Who will already have worked with you. Who won’t know I’m there. I’ll walk four blocks to the boutique hotel I could never afford to stay in. I’ll wait in the lobby. I’ll sit in an expensive chair for a painful amount of time before getting direction. I’ll unknowingly get in the elevator with you. Gaze won’t leave the floor. I’ll go into the room with the people you know. One of them your boss. I’ll tell them about my college degree. My MFA in writing. How I became a salaried manager for a grocery chain with no prior experience in less than twelve months. They’ll smile at me like a shiny toy. Then I’ll leave. I won’t see you when they tell you about me. I won’t hear you when you tell your coworker, “I’m going to marry that girl.” I’ll leave and walk four blocks to my car before time expires. I’ll put the uniform back on. I’ll wait three hours at the job I hate before your boss offers me a job. I’ll think about the man I’m having an affair with and what I will tell him. I’ll be excited to start over. I won’t officially meet you for another two weeks. I won’t know that when I do it will be one of the worst things that will happen to me.
