RELATIONSHIP
Universal dance moves
“Your ‘problem’ today is that you’re trying to build a future on a rotten foundation.”
That’s what the app told me at 11:11 AM.
Not, “Hey, maybe you should reflect,” or “Mars is in retrograde, be patient.” No.
It went straight for “rotten foundation.”
I stared at my girlfriend, Alex, sleeping peacefully, completely unaware that our seven-year relationship had just been deemed structurally unsound by a Silicon Valley algorithm with a zodiac obsession.
I did what any rational person would do. I screenshotted it and sent it to my group chat.
The Universe Started Sending Receipts
My relationship with astrology wasn’t casual. It was deeply co-dependent.
I didn’t just read my horoscope; I cross-referenced it with Alex’s. I analyzed our synastry chart, telling myself that her Capricorn stability was the perfect anchor for my chaotic Gemini energy.
The apps, however, were increasingly disagreeing.
“You are avoiding a necessary conflict,” one warned.
“Today is a good day to burn bridges,” another chirped, cheerfully.
Alex was a good woman.
