And one day, you’ll stop checking your messages. You’ll stop going through his Instagram. You’ll delete all your pictures and get rid of the things he gave you. More importantly, you won’t feel sad about it. If you’re at this stage, you’ve already made progress, you’re healing.
Don’t try to do everything at once; do it bit by bit. Get rid of one item each day. Delete at least 10 out of 100 photos every day. You’ll see that with every piece you let go of, you’ll feel lighter, free from attachment, free from anxiety, free from holding anything back. And that’s what will eventually take away your grief.
But then, how do you start loving yourself again? Watch a video of Lizz on YouTube? Maybe. But now that I’m healing at my own pace, I initially kept wondering, what am I supposed to do? Why does keeping myself happy feel like a task?
Eventually, I realized we put too much pressure and thought into healing and post breakup therapy, maybe because we see so much of it on social media. People make it seem too complicated. Get a distraction. Colour your hair? Get a tattoo? Or take a trip to Bali? It doesn’t have to be that tough. Healing is a journey of dealing with it, not escaping from it. Nothing can truly help you except processing your emotions. It might break you down at first, but only to build you back up.
So now, some days when I feel sad or miss him, I let myself process it. I grieve about it. Because then there are other days, when I’m happy or surrounded by people I love, I don’t think about it. It’s a wave — embrace it, don’t escape it. Gradually, you’ll feel less sad. And when that happens, know that you’ve healed well.
