Sometimes, it’s not envy that drives us — it’s the quiet wish to grow into the person we could be.
I stumbled upon a post on Twitter one day.
A girl shared two photos of herself — one when she was 70kg and overweight, and another when she was 70kg but toned and strong.
Her caption said, “Both are 70kg. so what’s the difference? Yep, exercise and gym.”
Then, in the comments, she mentioned she was bulking.
And for some reason, that tweet hit me hard.
Not because I was jealous — but because I wanted to feel what she felt.
That quiet confidence. That strength. That glow that comes from knowing you’ve built yourself from the ground up.
I want that too.
I want to eat enough protein, lift weights, and see my body transform into something I’m proud of.
But the truth is — I can’t afford it.
Gym memberships, protein powder, healthy food — they all cost something I don’t have right now.
And that realization stings more than I expected.
Because I try.
I really do.
I work out at home every day. I stay disciplined. I show up, even when no one’s watching.
But sometimes.. it feels like my effort isn’t enough. Like my body’s progress is trapped behind my circumstances.
Still, maybe that’s okay.
For now… I’ll keep doing what I can.
Even if it’s small, it’s still movement.
Even if it’s slow, it’s still progress.
Maybe this version of me — the one who keeps showing up despite everything .. deserves more credit than I give her.
Because I’m still trying.
And maybe for now, that’s enough.
Maybe one day, I’ll get there too.
