Hi, so it’s been a while since I’ve written anything here. Although I stopped writing on Medium, and continued to write for companies.
I forgot how helpful writing is for me?!
Since I struggle to explain myself because I overexplain, feel anxious, and everything all at once. I figured that, as a kid, writing is my thing.
I have spent years working for different companies as a writer, then I found myself writing Ebooks, which I genuinely enjoy. But there’s a part of me that CANNOT stand peace for a long period of time.
At this point, I don’t know where to even begin. My experiences have led me to make stupid choices and decisions instead of learning from the mistakes I made while experiencing them.
Right now, at this very moment, I come back to this app to write again and hope this is my awakening of everything that went wrong.
I would take responsibility for my actions, words, and reactions, but I wouldn’t deny the fact that attention certainly DID ruin my life.
The fact that I don’t recognize how the world sees me, approaches me, interact with me is something I’ve noticed that others have always wanted.
Being attractive isn’t the point for me. But the fact that coming out of a traumatic event led me to repeat my mistakes while I receive constant attention that could distract me from all the stuff I went through.
And you know what? Everything comes back to the point of not loving yourself enough.
People argue about how not having self-love still got them somewhere: married, happy, loving family, committed, genuine friendships. But what we don’t realize is that
when we don’t love ourselves, we hurt the people who care about us.
When you don’t care about yourself, hurt yourself, take risks that aren’t going to be in your favor, or not listen to the advice that comes out of care from your loved ones. Remember that it IS going to hurt your wife, your parents, your girlfriend, your friends.
You doubt yourself; you disappoint your loved ones. Not because you are a disappointment to them, but because they deeply care about how you view yourself.
They tell you to be healthy, quit your toxic substances, do not engage with people who don’t value you, point out your bad sleeping schedule, not eating enough, etc.
When we don’t realize how valuable we are in the eyes of our loved ones, that’s when we hurt them. And that’s why it is always them to tell you that you’re selfish, not the people who don’t find you worthy or valuable enough.
Social media has tried to tell us to love ourselves from time to time, but we all missed the part of “WHY”.
The ending part?
I’m gonna come back with a better one. For now, I just wanted to feel what it felt like writing for myself.
WATCH FLEABAG IF YOU HAVEN’T!
And if you don’t get it, then you’re only trying to find humor in it and not the actual message it has for people with unresolved issues. Or perhaps you worked through your own problems earlier than I did because you weren’t as sensitive.
By
Maham Raees
