WORLD: How long have you been giving it 30%?
ME: Since forever. I gave soccer 50%? Why?
WORLD: Because your 30% is above average. Way better than others’ best.
ME: It is not about that.
WORLD: Have you ever thought about giving it more?
ME: No, but I still have a lust for life like IGGY. What is your point? Get to it, rush to it, the point.
WORLD: I just think that if you gave it a little more, you might see more, have more. Be more
ME: I have not given it more since I swam, and I gave it 200%. Is that what you mean by more?
WORLD: YEAH, but….
ME: I am good; 30% is good, no need to complicate things. We have to accept the position we are in life, and either move on or stay in it. Besides, you should not only be present for things that serve you. Being aware of other things around you and how they move helps you see the true meaning of things; you know that it is not all about you. Besides, my dad said, “No one should use winning to destroy the beauty of living.” At 200%, it is all about me; I have tunnel vision. You destroy a lot beyond yourself when it is only about you, whether you mean to or not. I only want to be selfish regarding my health. You must understand that.
WORLD: Can’t you have both?
ME: It’s one extreme or another. Why would there be a question on which one to decide? Choosing to live is the sweetest victory I have known; besides, as you say, my 30% is above average.
WORLD: I can only imagine you at 200%
ME: It is a disaster and a masterpiece, an unmistakable beauty you can not look away from or deny.
DISCLAIMER: I wrote this for myself, not to understand or explain. This is it, happy with where I am now, and the options I still have and can create at a moment’s notice. You never heard of anyone losing a fire just by putting it out. I have never put out the fire in my soul, mind, and heart to give my all to something.
ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Also, I read this to my dad today, and he said what I said was better than what he said. He inspired it; he is always thinking. I used to just watch him in his office think. One day I did not understand why he was reading the National Enquirer, because on his desk were equations, business proposals, just stacks of papers, fax machines, and pens. So I asked him, and he said it did not make him think. Duh, he needed a break, or he was going to explode. He is always telling me to be cool, settle my mind, and meditate. Just be cool. He knows I need a break. He knows my mind; that is why I like social media. It does not make me think, but when they show dating apps, I think that is because I love love and love thinking about love, I guess. I guess that is why I wrote this in a few minutes last night. My dad is far from perfect, but he showed me the importance of thinking and thinking your own thoughts.
