Luna, 23
Sometimes I wear fluffy cat ears and crawl under Zach’s desk while he’s writing his thesis
Zach and I met in a bar one Halloween. I needed somewhere to put down my drink while I vaped, and started talking to him about the Hellenistic period. He was waiting for a Hinge date, but cancelled it when he found out he could get free drinks because I knew the bartender. Things started off slowly between us. I’d only had one partner before, and Zach was sleeping around, so I refused to have sex with him for a month until he’d had all the sexual health checks done. He was patient and didn’t try to go further, which I appreciated.
My last boyfriend was religious, and the sex was regimented, whereas sex with Zach is spontaneous and creative. Sometimes I wear fluffy cat ears and crawl under Zach’s desk while he’s writing his thesis. He’ll stroke me and say, “Do you like that? Do you need anything?” It’s a way for me to feel safe and turn off my brain for a little while. We live with Zach’s grandparents as their carers, and once I forgot to take the ears off. His grandma saw me in them and said, “What a cute headband, dear. Maybe I should get one of those.”
Zach’s grandparents’ house looks big from the outside, but it’s small on the inside. Our bedroom is Zach’s mum’s childhood room; there are glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling and a 1970s leather headboard, which bangs against the wall when we have sex. We moved to the floor, but realised his grandparents could hear everything downstairs when they asked, “Were you having a fun dance up there?” I told them we’d been watching Irish dancing and were trying to emulate the moves.
We have sex about four times a week, but Zach would be happy if we had more. He’s far hornier than I am. I don’t crave sex at all – I could go a month without it and wouldn’t notice, but I do enjoy physical intimacy.
There are intimate moments throughout the day, like filling up each other’s water glasses when we see they are getting low, or when we sneak to the park or pub. Zach is wonderfully thoughtful – he knows what I need before I do. We look after each another.
Zach, 25
We’ll be having sex and hear the stairlift beeping, or one of my grandparents calling up to us. Often, they’re just asking if we want to do the crossword
Six months ago, Luna and I moved in with my elderly grandparents to become their full-time carers. They weren’t coping on their own, and we no longer have to worry about rent or paying the bills.
I have quite a high sex drive, but it’s definitely decreased since living here. Caring leaves you with little energy, and it’s not like we can come home and relax after a day’s work. Work is at home. Changing bandages and emptying the commode doesn’t exactly create a sexy environment, but we never talk about doctors’ appointments or heart problems when we’re in our room – we preserve that little bit of space for ourselves.
Sometimes, we’ll be having sex and hear the stairlift beeping, or one of my grandparents calling up to us. It’s never anything urgent – often, they’re just asking if we want to do the crossword – but it pulls you out of the moment. And we can’t make too much noise, meaning we can’t let go in the way we’d sometimes like to.
There are some perks – we’re cushioned from the cost of living crisis here and we get to spend time with my grandparents. Living in this house, we’re in closer proximity to death, which makes me hyper aware of the temporary nature of things. We need to take advantage of the time we do have, so I buy Luna flowers, take her out and embrace the moment more.
Before I met Luna two years ago, I was pretentious and performative, showing off to the people I dated that I was reading Kafka. But Luna made me feel more like myself – I didn’t need to perform with her. The first week we spent together, it felt as though we’d been married our whole lives. Now, watching Luna care for my grandparents, I can imagine having a family with her – I already know how capable she is of nurturing and being tender, because I see her do it every day.
