How’s that New Year’s resolution going? Did you give up on it already? If so, you’re not alone. Friday, Jan. 9, was “National Quitters Day,” which marks the moment most people ditch all the promises they made to themselves on Jan. 1. Maybe you wanted to walk every day, journal every day, or drink more water — but have already given up. If so, it could be due, in part, to perfectionism.
On TikTok, people are talking about how perfectionism’s “all or nothing” mindset can hold you back from reaching your goals. Creator @trailmixliz offered veganism as an example. If you’ve always wanted to be vegan — for the environment, for your health, etc. — but never do it because you love cheese, she recommends being “vegan + cheese.” That means you live a vegan lifestyle most of the time, enjoy it’s many benefits, but also have mozzarella when you want.
In a follow-up to the original video, @addietheoptimist went on to say this mindset shift can apply to so many things in life. For example, if you really want to go to the gym, but feel kind of tired and know you won’t be able to give 100 percent, she says, “OK, go to the gym and give 50 percent. You don’t have to be imprisoned by your own rules.”
In her comments, someone said, “Half-assing is the stepping stone to whole-assing.” Another wrote, “Sometimes washing most of the dishes is washing enough,” while another said, “This is curing my ‘all or nothing’ way of thinking.” And when it comes to your New Year’s resolutions or other lifestyle goals, you don’t have to do it perfectly every day for it to count. Here’s why perfectionism is holding you back and why the “vegan + cheese” mentality can shift your thinking.
Be “Vegan + Cheese”
According to Sarah Panzer, LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist at The Loom Wellness, perfectionism is a form of black-and-white thinking that’s often rooted in the fear of not being enough. “[It’s why] perfectionists will hold themselves to impossible standards,” she tells Bustle, and often feel the need to do things “the right way” or not at all.
This is the opposite of the “vegan + cheese” mentality, which celebrates doing something almost all the way right — and not giving up just because you sometimes can’t be perfect. In @trailmixliz’s comments, someone said, “Perfection is the enemy of progress.” Another wrote, “See, like I’m vegetarian but I like seafood and gummy bears. So boom, pescatarian + gummy bears.” Hey, it’s better than nothing.
Remember, the mindset can be applied to so many aspects of life: exercise, chores, work projects — you name it. Instead of not doing anything at all, be OK with doing a little bit. It’s a way to free yourself from the strict “rules” you’ve created, and it makes it easier to stick to your goals long-term. A kitchen sink that’s halfway clean is better than one that isn’t clean at all.
Perfectionism Is Holding You Back
When it comes to goals, many people forget that they get to make their own rules, and it’s so freeing once you realize. In fact, “perfectionism is often the opposite of setting yourself up for success, because you will inevitably fall short of your own standards,” Panzer says. “When you give yourself permission to be imperfect, you give yourself an honest shot at achieving your goals.”
The next time you want to adopt a new habit or complete a task, allow yourself to be “vegan + cheese.” Don’t give up on it simply because you can’t do it perfectly 100% of the time, and don’t bail halfway through just because you make one mistake. Let this TikTok conversation rewire your brain so you can stick with your goals long-term without the fear of failure.
Source:
Sarah Panzer, LCSW, licensed psychotherapist at The Loom Wellness
