Sister-of-the-Groom Speech: Examples and Expert-Backed Tips

Being asked to speak at your brother’s wedding is an incredible honor. Regardless of whether him and his partner want you to share a few opening remarks at the rehearsal dinner or deliver a humor-infused recounting of the first time they met at their reception, a sister-of-the-groom speech can be difficult to craft. From figuring out what to write to ensuring that you don’t speak too quickly, it’s understandable why you may feel overwhelmed and stressed when preparing for such a moment. Luckily, we’re here to help.

Ultimately, such a speech is a sweet and sentimental moment that’s meant to bring joy and well-wishes to the happy couple. During your remarks, you may lean on anecdotes and stories of their first few months as a couple—or recount how your brother envisioned his future partner when he was a child. As you start to draft your speech, consider what you want the underlying theme of your words to be. “The trick to crafting a great speech, one people will be complimenting till 1 a.m., is to find a theme that connects all the random insights and anecdotes into one narrative,” says Heidi Ellert-McDermott, a professional speechwriter. “You want to think of your speech like a good, old-fashioned story with a beginning, middle, and almighty climax.”

Below, Ellert-McDermott breaks down everything you need to know about crafting a sister-of-the-groom speech—from how to structure it to what to say. Read on for more.

How to Write a Sister-of-the-Groom Speech

As the sister of the groom, your speech can be funny, charming, sweet, or sentimental. The tone of your remarks will likely depend on your relationship with your brother. Before you begin the writing process, discuss the ideal length of your speech with the soon-to-be newlyweds. “Unless you’re opting to deliver a poetic speech, I’d recommend aiming for a speech that’s about five to six minutes long, or about 800 to 900 words,” says Ellert-McDermott. “If you’re providing the ‘entertaining’ speech, then I’d advise you limit your speech to less than eight minutes or 1,200 words.” After you’ve confirmed the preferred length, it’s time to put pen to paper.

Greet the Guests

If you’re the first one giving a speech, make sure to greet everyone and welcome them to the wedding. However, if you’re not, skip this step.

Get in a Laugh Early

Ellert-McDermott suggests making a lighthearted joke early on in your speech, ideally within the first 20 seconds of your remarks. “It will immediately relax you and your audience,” she says. “Think about your brother’s individual quirks, eccentricities, and habits.”

Share Anecdotes

Tell stories about your brother, either from the early days or more recently, in order to show what type of person he is to you. “Resist the cliches about your brother always being there for you when you needed him,” says Ellert-McDermott. “Instead, tell the anecdotes that prove his great qualities and bring his specific, unique characteristics to life.”

Don’t Forget Your Brother’s New Spouse

Remember that this occasion is about celebrating your brother and his partner. Make sure to integrate them into the speech early on. “Again, avoid platitudes,” says Ellert-McDermott. “Think about the reasons you’ve bonded with your new sister- or brother-in-law and why you think they’re so right for your brother.”

Honor Your Parents

Even though this day is about your brother and his partner, you can also integrate your parents into your speech. If your parents have passed away, your remarks are also an opportunity to share a memory of them—or mention how proud they’d be of your sibling. “Think of how you can honor any absent loved ones by bringing a smile to everyone’s face, rather than a tear,” says Ellert-McDermott. 

Wrap Up With a Toast

“The toast can be emotional, humorous, or a bit of both,” Ellert-McDermott says. “It’s great (and seems really clever) if you can echo a thought from earlier in the speech to somehow wrap up the theme of your speech (for example, marriage advice).” 

6 Key Tips for Writing a Sister-of-the-Groom Speech

Ready to start writing your remarks? Here, Ellert-McDermott shares her best tips for crafting a speech everyone will love.

Crowdsource Ideas

If you’re the only sibling giving a speech, gather ideas and anecdotes from your other siblings. “Arrange a family get-together or just email them with a few questions with a tight deadline for contribution,” Ellert-McDermott says.

Write Early and Practice

Ellert-McDermott suggests starting to work on your speech at least one month before the wedding to allow time to edit and rehearse. However, if you’re experience writer’s block, trying just jotting down whatever comes to your mind. Remember: The first draft doesn’t have to be perfect.

Edit Your Material

“A lot of people make the mistake of trying to include everything in their speech, and considering you have a lifetime of material to get through, this isn’t a great plan,” says Ellert-McDermott. “Speeches are better when they are punchy.” Make sure your speech is short and sweet. “If a story takes longer to explain, maybe it’s better reserved for the bar later,” she says.

Keep It Light

“Another mistake a lot of sisters make is getting overly sappy and emotional,” Ellert-McDermott says. “Aim for 75 percent comedy, 25 percent heartfelt sentiment.” She suggests saving the more sentimental stories for the final portion of your remarks.

Carefully Consider Jokes

Choose your humorous moments carefully. “Telling a bad joke is worse than no joke,” says Ellert-McDermott, who advises staying away from politics, contentious issues, religion, cultural differences, exes, and anything that would require your brother to apologize to his new spouse. “It’s not worth the risk,” she says.

The 4 Best Sister-of-the-Groom Speech Examples

Need a few examples to jumpstart your writing process? Ahead, Ellert-McDermott shares a few examples of opening lines, middle sections, and endings to help inspire your own toast.

Opening Lines 

“Ladies and gentlemen, what a pleasure it is to see you all here today. For those I’ve yet to meet, I’m [name], and I’m giving the lesser-known sister-of-the-groom speech. It’s kind of like the father-of-the-bride speech—a tribute to their personality and character—but just a little bit funnier.”

Talking About Your Parents

“A special thanks to our fantastic parents who have done an amazing job hosting such a special occasion tonight. All the effort, all the hard work; anyone would think [name] was actually their favorite child! On a serious note, [name] and I wouldn’t be who we are today if it wasn’t for you two.”

Talking About Your Brother’s Partner

“[Name], you look absolutely stunning today, and it’s a privilege to have you as my sibling-in-law. I’m so excited that not only have you officially joined the [name] family, but that you’ve also taken on responsibility for my brother. Yes, those calls at 2 a.m. when he’s forgotten where he lives are now your problem. Really [name], you should have read the small print.”

The Final Toast

“So, my final piece of utterly unqualified advice to you both is simple: Enjoy your life together. [brother’s name], you’re so lucky to have found your soulmate, and [partner’s name], you’re lucky to have found someone who will make you laugh every day. Ladies and gentlemen, a toast to my brother and my favorite new brother/sister. Cheers!”