“Love the soul who waits in your reflection. You are worthy of your own love.”
Photo by Steffen Lemmerzahl on Unsplash
When you look into the mirror, who do you see?
Well…unless you are a vampire, there should be a reflection looking back at you… and you, yourself have your own unique answer to the question, “Who am I?”
But if you are like most people, you are probably critical of your reflection.
That is not an uncommon phenomenon. Many of us were taught to not be vain. We were told as children to not brag or speak too highly of ourselves.
Yet as we grow up and move into a sometimes unforgiving world, we learn lessons from the “school of hard knocks”… that life has both good and bad people, that some people can even be cruel, and that our self value can become diminished…maybe even extinguished…by some of those experiences.
I was reminded of this vulnerability after watching the documentary, John Candy: I Like Me.
I grew up watching John Candy as a comedian and an actor. I love his movies and one of my all-time favorites is Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
In it, he played Del Griffith, a shower curtain ring salesman, who has a heart of gold and a gift of gab. He ends up meeting Steve Martin’s character, Neal Page, a Chicago advertising executive, who is also traveling just before the Thanksgiving holiday. Their unlikely adventures create a classic 1980’s comedy.
Neal and Del are about as opposite as two people could be in both personalities and personal lives. This makes for some memorable moments and hilarious situations.
But in one serious scene, Neal berates Del, spewing every insult he can think of, when his patience runs out with him.
After all of the insults, you can see the actual hurt on Candy’s face. As the documentary points out, this was not an act. This was a personal reaction and what Del said next may have been written in the script but it was also lived out by John Candy himself.
“You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m an easy target. Yeah, you’re right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I’m not changing.
I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. ’Cause I’m the real article. What you see is what you get.”
John Candy had many things to overcome throughout his life, from losing his father when he was a young child to dealing with body image issues including fluctuating weight, and all of the judgement that our society brings with that.
But deep down, he meant it when he said, “I like me.”
The documentary about Candy showed me what a genuine, kind person he was in real life and the positive impact he had on so many people he knew and loved. Unfortunately his life ended too soon when he died of a heart attack at the age of 43.
After I finished watching the documentary, I was left with this thought.
When we look at our own reflections, maybe we should try to see what others already see in us…those people who bring us joy and love us unconditionally.
Because they see in us who we really are and, in essence, always have been…All of the beautiful parts of us we ignore when we look at our reflection.
And then maybe, once we recognize that, we can begin to show ourselves the love that we so freely give to others.
