Growing up I thought healing meant finally being okay. That everything feels right again that where I’d wake up lighter and untouched by the things that were broken. No one really tells you how hard healing can be. They talk about strength and moving on but not the days when just getting out of bed feels like another battle.
Healing is not pretty but it is messy and uncomfortable. It means the tears that broke down at 2 AM, the silence that we thought bring us peace but instead it feels loud. Healing also sitting down facing your phone and typing the message that you know you’ll never send.
It is not about erasing the pain but to be able to live with it. It is the letting go of memories without letting them destroy you. Healing means forgiving yourself for trusting and believing in people that couldn’t stay and understand your soul. Some chapter won’t have the closure you need and that is completely okay.
Healing doesn’t always announce itself to you. Sometimes it arrives quietly in small moments that you may not realize. What moment? The moments you stop checking their profile, the moment you no longer feel the sting in the songs you buried them into. You won’t notice it at first but there will be one day that you’ll realize that the pain doesn’t control you anymore and you finally survived what you thought once you couldn’t .
Healing is not about becoming who you were before the pain. It is discovering who you are after.
If you are in your healing season. Take your time and don’t rush it. You are not behind. You are always moving forward.
