Each Part of the Ceremony, Explained

While you may customize your reception to make it entirely your own, there’s one part of your big day that’s an absolute requirement: your wedding ceremony. Ultimately, this is what actually makes your union legal and official. Yet just because it’s necessary, that doesn’t mean there’s a standard format you have to follow. Different cultures and religions incorporate distinctive elements into their wedding ceremonies, as do nonreligious unions. “Traditional, Jewish, Catholic, and nondenominational weddings usually have ring exchanges, whereas Hindu weddings exchange beautiful garlands created from flowers,” says Victoria Miller, the principal designer at LUXE Atlanta Events, a wedding planning company.

When you’re trying to decide which type of ceremony is right for you, know that traditional and nondenominational wedding ceremonies are most flexible and similar to each other in terms of structure; religious ceremonies aren’t as adjustable. However, if the wedding ceremony order still feels a bit overwhelming to you, we’re here to help. The great news is that there are just a few required components, and your officiant or wedding planner will help you ensure your ceremony is legally binding. Here, with Miller’s help, we’ve made outlines for a few different types of vow exchanges, which will help you create the perfect wedding ceremony for your big day.

Traditional Wedding Ceremony Order

If you’re searching for a conventional celebration, you and your partner may opt for a traditional wedding ceremony. “There is typically a welcome or introduction by the minister, followed by the exchange of vows,” Miller says. “The couple then exchanges rings, and after the couple shares a kiss, the minister announces them for the first time as a married couple.”

1. The Processional

The processional is the official start to your wedding ceremony. This is when members of your immediate family and wedding party head down the aisle and either find a seat or take their places on either side of the altar. Typically, this ritual begins with the bride’s mother and follows with the groom, best man, wedding party, flower girl, and ring bearer. It ultimately ends with the bride making her entrance.

2. Words of Welcome

Once everyone is in place, the officiant will say a few words of welcome. For exmaple, they may thank guests for bearing witness to your union.

3. Introduction

After welcoming everyone, the officiant will offer an introduction. This could be a brief recounting of your love story, words on what marriage means, or a statement about the ceremony to come and what it represents.

4. Readings

If you’re including readings of any sort in your ceremony, readers will be invited up to speak. Whether or not they are introduced by the officiant is completely up to you.

5. Officiant Addresses Couple

After the readings, your officiant will address you and your partner, speaking to the responsibilities of marriage and the sanctity of the vows you’re about to take.

6. Exchange Vows

It’s one of the highlights of the ceremony: the two of you reciting your vows. If you opt to write your own vows, this can be one of the most emotional parts of the ceremony.

7. Ring Exchange

After each person recites their vows, you’ll exchange rings. You may decide to perform the ring exchange quickly without vows, or you may say a few words about what the ring symbolizes before placing it on your partner’s finger.

8. The Kiss

Sealing your union with a kiss is a time-honored tradition. After you’ve exchanged vows and rings, you’ll do just that.

9. Unity Ceremony

If you’re planning on having a unity ceremony, this is a good time to incorporate it. In a unity ritual, the couple does something that physically symbolizes their new union, such as using two candles to light a single candle or binding their hands together with a ribbon.

10. Closing Remarks

If your ceremony is a religious affair, you may decide to have a final prayer, where the officiant calls for the congregation to lift their hands to join them in blessing you and your partner. If it’s not religious, the officiant can say a few words of encouragement, bless the union, or read a requested prayer or poem aloud. Typical prayers involve asking for prosperity, faithfulness, and a strong bond.

11. The Recessional

After the ceremony concludes, your officiant will pronounces you married and introduce you as such to your guests for the first time. Then, you and your partner will lead the recessional down the aisle. The order of the recessional is the reverse of the processional.

Jewish Wedding Ceremony Order

Prior to the ceremony, the couple signs a marriage contract, called the ketubah, in private. It could be signed at the groom’s reception, the day before the wedding, or even 30 minutes before the ceremony begins. It’s proceeded by the bedeken, or the veiling, where the groom veils his bride’s face. This tradition comes from the story of Jacob in the Bible, who was tricked into marrying the sister of his betrothed because she was veiled. Unlike other ceremonies, in Jewish weddings, the bride and her party stand on the right while the groom and his party stand on the left.

1. The Processional

The rabbi and/or cantor have the option of leading the processional or arriving from the side to mark the beginning of the ceremony. The grandparents of the bride, who are the first to walk down the aisle, will sit in the first row on the right side, followed by the grandparents of the groom, who sit on the left side. The groomsmen will then enter in pairs, followed by the best man. Finally, the groom, escorted by his parents, will walk to the chuppah. The bridesmaids process in pairs, followed by the maid of honor, the ring bearer(s), and flower girl(s). Finally, the bride walks to the chuppah, escorted by both of her parents.

2. Vows Under the Chuppah

Jewish wedding ceremonies are conducted under a beautiful four-poled canopy structure called a chuppah. You and your partner will recite your vows to each other under the structure, which represents the creation of a new Jewish home. You could be accompanied by your parents under the chuppah or opt to stand alone.

3. Hakafot (or Circling)

Once you arrive at the chuppah, you’ll partake in a Ashkenazi tradition called circling, where the bride circles the groom seven times. This ritual symbolizes the bride creating a wall of protection over the groom. Some modern couples opt to circle each other to signify a more equitable division of roles. Typically, there is a blessing, and you and your partner share a drink of wine from the same cup.

4. Ring Exchange

The groom then gives a ring to the bride, and the ketubah is read aloud. Many ceremonies recite the blessings and prayers in Hebrew, but some modern weddings incorporate English so that non-Hebrew-speaking guests can understand the sacred elements.

5. Sheva Brachot: Seven Blessings

The seven blessings are then chanted over the couple. Though they are typically recited by the officiant, you may choose family members and honored guests to recite the text in Hebrew or English. After this ritual, you’ll both take another drink from the cup.

6. Breaking of the Glass

“The bride then gives the groom his ring after which the groom breaks a glass by stomping on it, which symbolizes the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem,” says Miller. Usually preceded by reading a verse from Psalm 137, which preaches to keep Jerusalem in mind even at the happiest hour, the breaking of the glass is a sobering reminder that even at a couple’s happiest, they should reflect on a sad moment in their history. The glass is typically wrapped in a cloth to avoid any injuries.

7. Mazel Tov

After the breaking of the glass, guests are invited to shout “mazel tov,” which means congratulations, to the couple.

8. The Recessional

After the shouts of joy, you’ll start the recessional. Everyone in the wedding party processes back up the aisle in the opposite order that they entered. The newlyweds lead the column, followed by the bride’s parents, the groom’s parents, the bride’s grandparents, and the groom’s grandparents. Once the family has walked, the flower girls or ring bearers lead the rest of the wedding party out of the space. The rabbi or cantor completes the filing.

Hindu Wedding Ceremony Order

“Hindu weddings are traditionally elaborate events lasting multiple days,” Miller says. “While the ceremony is only one of the days, the festivities and traditions surrounding the wedding stretch the event out.”

1. Baraat (the Groom’s Arrival)

The baraat is the groom’s wedding procession in which he arrives on a ceremonial white horse escorted by his friends and family. This ritual often includes live music and dancing, which can go on for hours. The groom can also make a grand entrance in a vintage car, chariot, or even on an elephant.

2. Milni

The groom is then greeted by the parents of the bride and her closest friends during the milni. He could be given shagun—a token of good luck—cash, or clothes. The bride’s parents may also feed him.

4. The Bride’s Entrance

The bride enters the ceremony, led by her male family members (either her brothers or uncles). They accompany her down the aisle where her father waits for her, just before the altar. The groom stands at the altar along with his parents, the bride’s mother, and the priest.

5. Kanyadaan

This is the moment the father of the bride gives his daughter away to her soon-to-be husband. In the Hindu tradition, a bride cannot be claimed by the groom until she has been offered.

6. Jai Mala Garland Exchange

“The bride and groom perform a garland exchange under a mandap or a beautifully decorated, raised canopy-like platform,” says Miller. This ritual serves to symbolize the concept of welcoming each other into their families. In this tradition, the bride’s parents will join the couple’s hands. The ceremony begins, and the priest reads prayers in Sanskrit.

7. Agni Poojan

In the center of the mandap, a sacred fire, the Agni Poojan, is lit. The rite invokes the fire deity Agni, brought to life through the fire, to bear witness to the celebration. The bride throws fistfuls of rice to the fire as offerings.

8. Saptapadi

During this ritual, you and your partner take seven steps together to symbolize friendship—the basis of a Hindu marriage. Depending on specific geographical traditions, your garments may be tied together, and you may take seven steps or circle the fire seven times. This is the most important step in a Hindu marriage, and after this, you’re officially married.

9. Final Blessings

“The ceremony typically ends with prayers, readings, and blessings from their elders,” says Miller. The couple’s parents and priest typically bless the newlyweds. However, special guests are also able and encouraged to join in.

10. Talambralu

In this ritual, you’ll mark the end of the ceremony by showering each other with rice, saffron, and turmeric. These are believed to rake in prosperity in your marriage.

11. Ashirwad

Now that your marriage is official, you’ll bow to the crowd as a show of gratitude for their presence at the ceremony. The parents will offer their final blessing, usually through an embrace, before the couple steps down from the mandap to receive the blessings, or ashirwad, of their grandparents and elderly family members. The guests offer their own blessings by showering them with rice or flowers as they process up the aisle.

Catholic Wedding Ceremony Order

A Catholic ceremony is typically held in a church. Unlike other religions and customs, couples don’t write their own vows with this type of ceremony.

1. The Processional

During Catholic weddings, the priest and the ministers often walk to the altar as part of the processional. When the priest arrives at the altar, the wedding party will start their journey down the aisle. The groom enters, followed by the best man, groomsmen, maid of honor, bridesmaids, ring bearer, flower girl, and bride, who’s escorted by her father.

2. Entrance Rites

Catholic weddings are often held as part of a mass, especially if both parties are Catholic. The priest begins with rites and a prayer. This is where the congregation joins in to sing or recite the Kyrie and the Gloria hymns.

3. Readings

To start off the Liturgy of the Word, designated guests or family members will be assigned readings from the Bible: one from the Old Testament, one from the New Testament, and the responsorial psalm that the guests will repeat in unison. Miller says that at least one of these readings will be about marriage.

4. Gospel

The priest then reads a select passage from one of the gospels. While this reading tends to be based on the liturgical calendar, they may opt to read a passage on marriage or love. The congregation stands.

5. Homily

As the priest starts the homily, guests sit. During this portion, the priest interprets the gospel reading, gives a speech about marriage, and says a little bit about the couple’s union.

6. Rite of Marriage (Vows)

The Catholic Church has its own set of vows. You could choose to memorize them, read them, or have the priest read them to you and respond with the classic “I do.”

7. Ring Ceremony

After the vows, the priest will bless the wedding rings with a prayer and a sprinkling of holy water. Then, each party will place the ring on the partner’s finger. They will typically recite a version of, “Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

8. Offertory

Select guests, who are chosen by the couple, will walk down the aisle to offer the gifts, while seated guests will be invited to offer donations to the church via a basket that’s passed around.

9. Liturgy of the Eucharist

This begins with the priest praying over the bread and the wine. It’s believed to transform them into the Holy Eucharist—or the body and blood of Christ. The guests usually kneel and bow their heads during this part of the mass, which is considered to be the most sacred.

10. Lord’s Prayer

At this point, the congregation recites or sings the Lord’s Prayer in unison.

11. Sign of Peace

The priest will say a prayer of peace to the congregation. Attendees will then turn to their neighbors and greet each other with a sign of peace, typically a handshake. You can offer a casual hello, or simply say “peace be with you.”

12. Holy Communion

During communion, Catholic members of the congregation line up to receive the Holy Eucharist. The tradition represents the Last Supper, where Jesus offered bread and wine to his disciples.

13. The Kiss

After communion has ended, the priest will tell the groom to kiss the bride.

14. Nuptial Blessing

The priest gives the final blessing to the members of the congregation, saying “Go in peace.” The congregation responds with “Thanks be to God.”

15. The Recessional

The wedding party and the newlyweds walk down the aisle in the reverse order in which they entered.

Nondenominational Wedding Ceremony Order

The ceremony order at nondenominational weddings is similar to that of traditional weddings—but with a greater ability to customize it to fit your preferences. “The couple may choose to include a unifying ritual within the ceremony, such as a unity candle or similar ritual,” says Miller.

1. The Processional

The groom and the groomsmen can choose to enter from the side or walk down the aisle. If the groom chooses to lead the processional, he will be followed by the best man, groomsmen, bridesmaids, maid of honor, ring bearer and flower girl, and the bride with one or both parents.

2. Opening Remarks

The officiant gives the opening remarks and addresses the guests. There’s usually a small introduction about the couple and the meaning of the occasion.

3. Readings

For non-religious ceremonies, you may assign guests to read prayers, passages from novels, poems, or even meaningful quotes. It’s up to you how many readings you want.

4. Unity Candle

Couples typically opt to light a unity candle during nondenominational ceremonies. As you light the candle, the officiant narrates the importance of the act as a symbol of commitment and unity.

5. Unifying Ritual

Nondenominational weddings are extremely customizable. As a result, you may opt to personalize it based on what’s meaningful to you—or what you’re passionate about. For example, you may choose to do a handfasting ritual, create a time capsule, or even plant a tree to symbolize your union.

6. Exchange of Vows

Your vows can be personalized, memorized, or facilitated by the officiant. All that ultimately matters is that you say “I do.”

7. Exchange of Rings

After the vows, you each place a ring on the other’s finger to symbolize your marriage. You may also opt to recite vows specific to the rings.

8. The Kiss

Congratulations, you are now newlyweds! Make sure to seal your union with a kiss.

9. The Recessional

To end your nuptial ceremony, face your guests for the first time as a married couple. You’ll begin to walk back up the aisle, followed by your wedding party.