There’s a special kind of panic that sets in this time of year. As you look back on the past 12 months, the reality of your dating life becomes painfully clear. Suddenly, you remember that you didn’t go on a single date. Not even one. Either that, or you get a nightmare-like flashback to all of your bad encounters, like that Hinge match who introduced you to the meaning of “false intimacy.”
It’s likely why the “12 Dates of December” challenge is going viral on TikTok. The idea is to go on 12 more dates before the end of the year — even if it’s tiring, and even if it kind of sucks. For some, the goal is to make up for lost time. For others, it’s a push to keep the hope alive and find love before 2026. For everyone else? It just sounds like fun.
On Nov. 29, @jeninboston_ said she wanted to go on 12 dates before the end of the year as a way to get out of a dating rut, while @lifeasrach decided to take on the challenge in an effort to romanticize her life in New York City. “I really need to get myself back out there,” she said in the clip. “So I’m doing exposure therapy.”
As it turns out, this trend has a history. In 2023, creator @hellosydshine attempted the challenge, saying, “I’m going to try to go on 12 dates this month,” in the clip. “Give my dating life a little holiday spice.” Throughout the month, the creators share dating recaps and see if they can reach their goal. But is it worth it? Here’s what a relationship expert has to say.
The “12 Dates Of December” Challenge
The 12 Dates of December trend is definitely an exercise in perseverance, if nothing else. If you think it’s hard to find one date a month, imagine trying to find 12 — and yet that’s all part of the fun.
For many creators, it means being more proactive when it comes to scrolling and swiping, like @jeninboston_, who was gearing up for her second date on Dec. 4. “Not gonna lie, I would much rather be sitting on my couch tonight and hanging out with my dog,” she said. But she ultimately went, fueled by the thrill of trying a new restaurant.
For Jen, date number one wasn’t a romantic fit, and so she soldiered on. “I’m trying to put myself out there and have more fun with dating, so that’s what this is,” she said, adding that it isn’t always easy to schedule dinners and drinks during such a busy time of year.
“I think the biggest challenge is keeping up conversations with the people on the apps,” she said. It’s always difficult to take a connection from the apps, to texting, to actually meeting up IRL, but this challenge requires you to push through.
It’s why many creators are also expanding their reach by rekindling forgotten chats in their DMs and saying yes to people who aren’t necessarily 100% their type. Creator @lifeasrach has been finding people offline through friends and even went on a date with her neighbor. If you want to complete the 12 Dates of December challenge, you have to get creative.
But Is It Worth It?
There’s no doubt this challenge is tiring, and many people in the comments section also wonder how you can even find 12 matches in such a short time frame, much less be actually interested in them. If you’re up for it, more power to you. After all, you can simply do it for the plot — or for the content this gives you to report back to your hometown bestie over the holidays.
Just keep your emotional well-being in mind. If you’re recently single or just trying to build up your confidence, the challenge might be worth a try, says Dr. Jasmonae Joyriel, a licensed psychologist, sex therapist, and founder of Ignite Anew. “More dates that feel light-hearted and fun could be exactly the challenge that you need,” she tells Bustle.
“It can keep dating lighthearted and allow you to have a lot of new experiences.”
Think flirty wine dates and quick coffees throughout the week, followed by bigger dates on Friday or Saturday. “If you have been on the dating sidelines, this can be a really fun way to get you back out there,” she says. “It can keep dating lighthearted and allow you to have a lot of new experiences. It can also be a way to keep the holiday blues at bay if you are feeling lonely and far away from friends and family.”
It’s also a good way to flex your dating muscle, build new skills, and push yourself outside your comfort zone. “You could commit to dating someone very different than who you typically go for on each date and see what you may learn about yourself after that,” Joyriel says. To find love, sometimes it really is a numbers game.
That said, it’s also 100% OK to bail on the challenge if you find a good connection — or if you feel yourself burning out. “There’s the risk of dates going poorly and that leading to increased feelings of rejection and/or loneliness,” she adds. “It can also make someone who is exhausted with dating feel apathetic and ‘over’ dating as a whole.”
How To Find 12 Dates
Besides swiping right with abandon, “it is best to make it fun without it getting too serious,” Joyriel says. “Be willing to say yes to people who may not ideally be your type or to dates you may not typically be willing to go on.”
You can also enlist the help of friends and family to help set you up, if you trust their taste level. “The more you are willing to use this as an opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and try something new, the more likely it is to be successful — and potentially a lot of fun too!”
Source:
Dr. Jasmonae Joyriel, licensed psychologist, sex therapist, founder of Ignite Anew
