The 5 Wedding Traditions Modern Couples Are Leaving Behind

There’s truly only one thing you have to do on your wedding for it to be official: say “I do.” Beyond that, you and your partner have complete freedom over how you want the day to proceed. Maybe you detest the idea of exchanging vows in front of a crowd and opt to have a private moment in which you share your promises with your partner before walking down the aisle. Maybe you want to celebrate with as many people as possible, so you turn your traditional rehearsal dinner into a fun welcome party, inviting all of your attendees to join you in a pre-nuptial celebration. Instead of sticking to the typical run-of-show when it comes to their big day, more couples are customizing their celebration to fit their unique preferences. Gone are the days of doing something simply because it’s expected.

“Couples today are redefining wedding traditions, blending the classic with the modern in ways that feel authentic and timeless,” says Becca Davis, a Chicago- and Indianapolis-based wedding photographer and videographer. “One of the biggest shifts we’re seeing is a move away from fleeting trends that might not stand the test of time. Instead, many are embracing timeless elements with personal, modern touches.” 

Here, industry experts break down some of the most common traditions couples are opting out of—and the ones they continue to adhere to. 

5 Old-School Wedding Traditions Couples Are Leaving Behind 

This isn’t your grandmother’s wedding. Nowadays, whether due to personal preference, budgetary concerns, or modern ways, some couples are skipping out on familiar traditions on their big day. 

The Bouquet Toss

“One of the wedding traditions that I see less and less of is a bouquet or garter toss,” says Collin Pierson, a destination wedding and editorial photographer. “While some people find it absolutely necessary, most younger couples are finding the tradition dated and unnecessary.” With roots in 19th century England, this tradition emerged from a belief that a single woman could obtain good luck by touching the bride on her wedding day. However, over time, as eager women crowded the bride after her ceremony, the tradition of tossing the bridal bouquet to escape the cluster of people emerged. Yet as more women opt to tie the knot later in life—or even choose to stay single—some newlyweds are skipping this ritual, seeing it as dated.

The Wedding Party Entrance 

While you and your partner may decide to keep your grand entrance into your reception space, you may opt to eliminate that of your wedding party. “A moment I see less of is the tradition of a wedding party introduced and entering into the reception space,” Pierson says. “More couples are letting their wedding party enjoy the pre-reception conversing, which then allows the couple to be the center of attention [when] they enter their reception space and are announced.” 

A Standard Dinner 

For decades, wedding food was fairly predictable. Regardless of whether it was a sit-down affair or a buffet-style service, you’d likely have some combination of “protein, starch, vegetable,” says Rob Pausmith, the founder of the Pausmith Group. Not anymore. “We’re seeing couples opt to serve meaningful dishes like a traditional dish that’s important to their heritage and culture, or something that’s reflective of past travels or important moments in the couple’s history—think pasta to pay homage to a proposal in Italy or sushi during cocktail hour as a nod to the couple’s favorite Friday date night spot,” he says.

The style of service may also be shifting. In lieu of formal seated dinners, more couples are opting to have cocktail-style receptions or another more informal dining experience, says Michelle Durpetti, the founder of Michelle Durpetti Events. 

Large Matching Wedding Parties

For some soon-to-be newlyweds, gone are the days of asking 15 friends to stand beside you as you say “I do.” “Couples are opting for smaller, more intimate wedding parties—or skipping the formal party altogether,” says Raquel Bickford, the founder and executive producer of ROQUE Events. “Many couples prefer to involve their close friends and family in meaningful but less structured ways.” And even if a bride does decide to have bridesmaids, instructing them to wear the same matching ensemble is no longer a given. More brides are letting their loved ones select their own attire, says Lisette Mejia, a wedding content creator and the owner of Little Nostalgic Moments.

Sweetheart Table

Rather than carving out an intimate table for two, more couples are sitting with their friends and family at their reception. “Our couples almost always skip the sweetheart table or formal one-sided head tables, and instead opt to sit amongst their guests for more of a communal dining experience that feels more like the fanciest of dinner parties,” says Callista Osborn, the founder of Callista & Co. 

4 Wedding Traditions That Stand the Test of Time

However, even amidst the modern-day edits, some rituals appear to stand the test of time. Below, four traditions that industry experts say are sticking around for the long run. 

The First Dance 

The tradition of the first dance is here to stay. “The first dance is still one of the most cherished moments for couples,” Bickford says. “It’s a sweet opportunity to slow down and enjoy a quiet moment together.” But just because couples are continuing to have first dances doesn’t mean that they look exactly the same as it once did. “It is getting a fresh spin with couples including guests halfway through or shortening the dance, so it doesn’t feel as long before guests get on the dance floor,” says Jenna Lam, the founder and director of Jenna Lam Events. “I think more couples are aware of wanting to keep the energy up throughout the night and a long list of dances where guests are just watching doesn’t exactly work with that.”

Toasts 

Kind words will never go out of style, which is traditional wedding toasts and speeches are here to stay. “Toasts are still meaningful, but couples are becoming more selective about who speaks, often choosing just one or two people who are particularly close to them,” Durpetti says. When these speeches occur may be changing, though. “We’re seeing a shift towards having these moments featured during the welcome party or rehearsal dinner rather than on the wedding day itself, so that the wedding reception time can be focused around dancing and mingling with guests all night long without speeches and toasts mixed into the flow of the evening,” Pausmith adds. 

Cake Cutting

Like the first dance, many are keeping the cake-cutting tradition—with a few modern substitutions. “[While] the dramatic cake-cutting moment still holds its charm, couples are opting for unique alternatives, from towering pies to creative mozzarella ball displays,” Davis says. Others are still sticking with the classic nuptial dessert. “Many still enjoy the tradition of cutting the cake together,” says Bickford. “It’s a fun, symbolic moment that represents unity, and couples often love putting their own twist on it, whether it’s with unique cake flavors or creative designs.”

Something Blue

That lucky pop of blue isn’t going anywhere. “Something old, new, borrowed, and blue had a period where those traditions took a back seat, but now, they seem to have made a big comeback,” says Kristina Kempton, the founder of Kristina Kempton Events. “Blue hints in the wedding styling (no matter how small) are very on trend. Couples still wish to honor this tradition.”