Healing through Internal Family Systems isn’t about trying to become someone new — it’s about remembering who you already are.
The 8 C’s of Self — Calm, Clarity, Curiosity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, and Connectedness — are not goals to reach, but energies to return to.
They arise naturally as we unblend from our parts and lead our inner world with love.
Below are gentle ways to nurture each quality so that Self can take the lead in daily life.
Cultivating Calm
Calm begins in the body.
When you notice agitation or tension, pause and breathe into your belly.
Whisper to yourself: “There’s a part of me that feels anxious — and I’m here with it.”
Naming the part creates space between you and the emotion. Calm comes from that space — not from suppressing what’s there, but from presence itself.
Cultivating Clarity
Clarity comes when we slow down enough to see.
Before reacting, ask: “Who’s speaking right now — my Self or a part?”
When you pause to identify which part is activated (the pleaser, the perfectionist, the inner critic), you begin to perceive the truth beyond its story.
Clarity often whispers; it doesn’t shout.
Cultivating Curiosity
Curiosity is an antidote to shame.
Whenever you hear an inner voice saying, “What’s wrong with me?” gently replace it with, “I wonder what this part needs.”
Curiosity softens defenses and invites dialogue.
Journal with your parts as if they are children or visitors — each with a good reason for existing. Ask questions instead of rushing to fix them.
Cultivating Compassion
Compassion blooms when you stop judging yourself for having pain.
Place a hand on your heart and breathe out the pressure to be “healed.”
You might say, “Of course you feel this way. It makes sense.”
True compassion doesn’t try to erase suffering — it holds it in love until it transforms.
Cultivating Confidence
Confidence arises naturally as you witness your inner system with steadiness.
Each time you stay present with a difficult emotion, you prove to your parts that you can lead.
Remind yourself: “I am the Self — I can handle this.”
Confidence grows not from control, but from trust in your capacity to remain connected through any experience.
Cultivating Courage
Courage in IFS isn’t heroic; it’s humble.
It’s the willingness to turn toward what you once turned away from.
When fear arises, thank the part that’s scared. Let it know you’ll move slowly, together.
Courage is what allows healing to happen — one small step toward the exile you used to avoid.
Cultivating Creativity
Once your system feels safer, your natural creativity returns.
Try expressing what you feel through colour, movement, sound, or writing.
It’s not about making art — it’s about giving your parts a voice.
Creativity is how Self celebrates being alive again after long years of protection.
Cultivating Connectedness
Connectedness is remembering that you are not separate — not from your parts, not from others, not from Source.
Spend time in nature, pray, or simply sit in silence and feel the pulse of life moving through you.
When you connect with the Divine within, every part of you feels seen, loved, and included.
Integrating the 8 C’s
Think of the 8 C’s as a compass, not a checklist.
You won’t feel all of them all the time — but each moment you notice one, you are in Self.
Even a few seconds of calm or curiosity changes your inner landscape.
Healing happens not by force, but through presence, patience, and remembering.
When you lead from the 8 C’s, your internal world begins to mirror the Divine order of the universe — a system of compassion, balance, and love.
And that’s what IFS is truly about: the Divine remembering itself through you.
Kate Strong is an Intuitive/Healer and specializes in soul healings, the emotion code, body code, belief code,cord-cutting, past life healings, ancestral healings, essential emotions sessions, and she writes courses. Ask her about how to get wholesale prices for Essential Oils.
She also likes to blog about lots of different topics on mind, body, spirit.
You can find her at where you can sign up for her newsletter.
