When Should Wedding RSVPs Be Due?

After you finalize your guest list, you’re finally able to mail out your invitations, giving your loved ones all of the details surrounding your big day. However, before you start crafting your seating chart and ordering your escort cards, you’ll need to know who will and won’t be able to attend your celebration. Whether you choose to include a RSVP card in your invitation suite or create a QR code for your guests to virtually respond to, providing your invitees with a way to let you know whether or not they’ll be able to make it is crucial. However, you may be wondering: How much time should you give your guests to RSVP to your nuptials?

Avoid giving your guests too little—or too much—time to RSVP to your celebration. Instead, find the perfect balance between the two extremes. When determining your RSVP date, remember that you and your partner need to know who’s coming to the wedding before you can make your seating chart, book transportation to and from the venue, plan for meals, and reserve the correct number of tables and chairs. Without a final guest count, you won’t be able to check any of these tasks off of your list. This is why having—and stating—a clear deadline for your RSVPs is so important.

Below, experts break down how to pick the right RSVP deadline—and offer key tips on ensuring your guests respond promptly.

When Should Wedding RSVPs Be Due?

Ideally, the “RSVP by” date should fall three to four weeks before your wedding. Because your wedding invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks prior to the big day, guests should generally have a window of about one month to RSVP. This amount of time strikes the right balance of not being too close to or too far out from the date of your nuptials. If you give guests too much time to RSVP, they may procrastinate on the task; however, if you don’t leave enough time for them to confirm their attendance, they may make alternate plans.

6 Ways to Ensure Everyone RSVPs on Time

No one wants to spend the last few weeks before their wedding tracking down RSVPs. While you’ll likely have to follow up with a few guests no matter what you do, there are steps you can take to ensure almost everyone RSVPs on time.

Include a Pre-Addressed, Pre-Stamped Return Envelope

The easiest way to ensure RSVPs arrive on time? Make the process simple. Be sure to include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope within your invitation suite so that your guests have no reason not to pop that card in the mail.

Give Guests Options for RSVPing

Everyone likes options, and realistically, the more ways your guests can say “yes” or “no” to the wedding, the better it’ll be for you. While mail-in cards are still the traditional choice, not everyone uses the mail as they once did. If possible, include an option for guests to digitally submit their RSVP via your wedding website.

Choose the Right Wording

Sometimes, guests may not realize how essential a RSVP actually is to the planning process. On the card, make sure to focus on using clear wording that emphasizes the deadline.

Ask for Song Requests

Erica Taylor, the co-founder of Tinsel Experimental Design, says clients often have success when there’s an engaging call to action or participation factor included on the response card. “For example, ‘RSVP with a song that will keep you on the dance floor,’ or ‘RSVP with your favorite memory of the bride and groom,'” she says.

Add Extra Time for Destination Weddings

Because destination weddings require arranging flights and accommodations, there’s a different RSVP timeline. RSVPs should be due two months before the wedding, and the wedding invitations should be sent out approximately four months before the wedding. This will give guests ample time to make travel plans.

With a destination wedding, an early RSVP deadline will give you plenty of buffer time to make sure every guest is accounted for, as well as get a sense of when people will be arriving and departing, so you can plan pre- and post-wedding events accordingly.

Make the RSVP Date Clear

It might seem obvious, but make sure the RSVP date is in an extremely legible font on the card itself. If you’re including an option to RSVP on your wedding website, a countdown ticker is also a good option.

How to Follow Up With Guests Who Don’t RSVP

Even if you’re anxiously anticipating their responses, it’s not recommended to follow up with guests before your RSVP deadline, says Myka Meier, an etiquette expert. “You have given them the allotted grace period for a reason and chasing before that time can come across as pushy and pressuring to guests.”

However, if the deadline has come and gone, and you still haven’t heard from someone on your guest list, it’s completely appropriate to shoot them a quick note. Meier suggests saying the following: Hello (guest’s name)! Just a quick note to see if you were planning to attend our wedding on (date), as it will help us finalize the details for the big day!”  If you’re collecting RSVPs online, you can also prompt them to respond on your site. “This approach feels personal and helpful, while keeping a gracious tone,” Meier says.