PERSONAL ESSAY
When love refuses to die, even after everything it destroyed.
Non-members read here.
I am tired, Baba. I am tired of saving you from yourself, your alcohol, and your deteriorating mental condition. I am tired of fighting this constant battle with myself for trying a little more. I am exhausted with the way I am continuously failing at holding things and trying to make things work. And no matter what I do, I am unable to save you.
I Failed At Everything
I remember one incident explicitly from my childhood when my father had created a huge ruckus at night under alcohol. I was seven, hurt, and devastated. I remember telling my mother with incessant tears about how he would one day repay us for all our agony. I always believed that seeing him suffer would bring me some peace or heal my scars, but my life proved me wrong.
I could not see him suffer back then, and I cannot see him suffer now. All that remains is me, who is dying a slow death, watching him lose himself a little more every day.
How Do I Unlove Him?
Ever since my parents separated, people had me telling me to unlove him, to let…
