When to Send Wedding Invitations (and Everything Else!)

There are so many different wedding-related events that take place during a couple’s engagement period, and they all require their own invitations. Sure, some pre-nuptial celebrations are casual enough that a digital invitation will do, but mailing physical stationery is always appreciated by guests—plus, these paper goods will serve as precious keepsakes for you to look back on for years to come. And when it comes to your actual wedding, mailing a physical invitation suite to each guest is always a must.

At first glance, it can seem a little overwhelming to create invitations for each party, but it’s manageable if you know what to expect. When it comes to wedding and wedding-event stationery, the biggest thing to consider is timing. You need to know when to send out wedding invitations to ensure your guests have all the information necessary to plan for and attend your nuptials, and the same goes for invites being sent for any parties happening before the big day.

To help, we asked etiquette expert Elaine Swann, the founder of The Swann School of Protocol, to share her insights regarding all things wedding invitation timing (and other must-know intel!) ahead. Read on to learn when to send everything from save-the-dates and engagement party invitations to post-wedding thank-you notes, and who to send them to.

How and When to Send Out Wedding Invitations

A traditional wedding invitation suite includes the main invitation, a response card, and any other enclosure card containing helpful information for your guests (reception card, travel and accommodations card, attire card, wedding website card, etc.). Making sure to mail these pieces out early enough is key, as you want to give guests time to make arrangements to be at your wedding and mail their RSVP back to you.

How long before my big day should I send out wedding invitations?

Etiquette dictates that you should send your wedding invitations out six to eight weeks prior to your wedding date. This gives guests enough notice to make arrangement’s, if necessary, and get their RSVP back to you in time.

Who should receive a wedding invitation?

Everyone on your guest list should receive a wedding invitation, but couples and families can receive just one per household. To ensure that only your intended guests RSVP to the wedding, be sure to list each guest’s name on the invitation envelope.

How far before the wedding should the RSVP date be?

In general, RSVPs should be due one month before the wedding. This gives you enough time to track down late responses, organize tables, and give pertinent details, like meal requests and total guest count, to your venue, wedding planner, caterer, and so forth.

What start time should we put on our wedding invitations?

If you’re nervous about late arrivals, a good rule of thumb is to list the wedding’s start time as at least 30 minutes before you want the ceremony to begin. That being said, it’s important to be very intentional with what you plan to have guests do for that window of time before your ceremony starts. “It’s important to make this very purposeful. You don’t want your guests sitting in their seats waiting or thinking that you’re running late,” says Swann. “Have something ready for your guests to do. It doesn’t take much, but you want to create a moment that allows your guests to arrive at that time and be involved.”

According to Swann, something as simple as serving spa water, setting up a photo area, or the signing of the guest book is a great way to fill this time intentionally and to be sure guests aren’t sitting down and waiting for too long. Listing this activity on a handheld program or large sign is another great way to make it clear that the start time was intentional. 

When should we send wedding invitations to international guests?

If you’re inviting just a few overseas guests, send their invitations along with the ones for your other guests, but make a point to give them a heads-up in advance. Give them a call or send them an email with the details, as well as information about booking hotel rooms, so they can start to arrange their travel with time to spare.

Does half of your family live abroad? You might want to consider bumping up the timeline for them and the rest of your guests. Start designing your invitations a few weeks early and plan to send them out a minimum of 12 weeks in advance.

You will also want to have all of the information available on your wedding website as soon as save-the-dates are in the mail. Sure, it means you’ll have to start ironing out the hotel room block and transportation information sooner than you’d expected, but you’ll be happier in the long run. Those overseas guests will have all the information at their fingertips, and you’ll have even more crossed off of your to-do list.

How and When to Send Save-the-Dates

Though save-the-date cards are not technically required, they are a fun way to get your guests to mark their calendars. They’re especially helpful when many of your guests have to make travel arrangements to attend your wedding or if nearby accommodations are limited. Though save-the-date cards are traditionally a mailed paper good, you can choose to let guests know about the wedding with a digital iteration, which are becoming more and more popular.

Who should get a save-the-date?

You should only send save-the-dates to those who you’re planning on inviting to the wedding.

When should I send save-the-dates?

It’s best to send save-the-date cards four to six months before the wedding, or even earlier if you’re planning a destination wedding that may require more extensive travel arrangements. It’s perfectly fine to mail save-the-dates without all of your essential information squared away—as long as you have the date and location, that’s enough.

How and When to Send Engagement Party Invitations

Oftentimes, a couple’s parents or close friends will throw an engagement party where the couple announces the big news. Some keep the reason for the party a secret and announce the engagement during a toast at the beginning of the evening. Others send out these invitations with the reason for the celebration detailed on the cards.

Who should get an engagement party invitation?

As you’d expect, only people who are invited to this pre-nuptial party should receive an invitation. That said, it’s a little more complex than just that. Someone who is invited to your engagement party will probably expect an invitation to your wedding, so plan this first guest list wisely.

When should I send engagement party invitations?

You (or the event’s hosts) should mail engagement party invitations soon after the question is popped as possible, while the news is still fresh. If you decide to announce your engagement at the party, you’ll need to come up with a good excuse for gathering so many friends and relatives together in one place.

How and When to Send Bridal Shower Invitations

The bride’s mom, the maid of honor or another good friend, or another close family member usually hosts the shower; oftentimes several people, usually bridesmaids, share the responsibility of celebrating the bride-to-be. Whoever is hosting is responsible for choosing and mailing the bridal shower invitations.

Who should get a bridal shower invitation?

The only rule you need to know about bridal shower invitations is that everyone invited to this event also be invited to the wedding. That being said, you can keep the bridal shower to an intimate group of friends and/or family, or have a blowout with dozens of friends. Talk it over with the bridal shower hostess to find out what they have in mind.

When should I send bridal shower invitations?

Bridal shower invitations should go out between six and eight weeks before the event, depending on how many out-of-towners are on the list. Make sure guests RSVP to one person (the maid of honor, for example) to keep numbers organized.

How and When to Send Bachelor or Bachelorette Party Invitations

Whether it’s a trip to Las Vegas or something more low key, the bachelor/bachelorette parties are for the bride’s and groom’s best friends to celebrate their upcoming nuptials.

Who should get a bachelorette party invitation?

Everyone you send a bachelorette party invitation to should also be invited to the wedding, just like with the bridal shower. However small or big you want the guest list to be is up to the hostess and the bride.

When should I send bachelorette party invitations?

One month before the party date. Emailing and calling is acceptable, too.

How and When to Send Rehearsal Dinner Invitations

The rehearsal dinner usually takes place the night before the wedding, following the actual ceremony rehearsal, and is a time for wedding party members to celebrate and toast the couple.

Who should get a rehearsal dinner invitation?

Close family members and anyone participating in the wedding ceremony (including your officiant), plus their spouses or dates, should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. It’s also considerate to invite your out-of-town guests to attend as a kind gesture of thanks for traveling all the way.

When should I send rehearsal dinner invitations?

Send invitations to the rehearsal dinner three to six weeks in advance of the gathering. Guests will, of course, know about the wedding date at this point, but they should still receive an invitation to the rehearsal dinner.

How and When to Send Wedding Thank-You Cards

You should send thank-you notes for all the gifts received during the course of planning your wedding.

Who should get a thank-you card?

Everyone who has given you a gift at any of the wedding festivities (the engagement party, bridal shower, wedding).

When should I send thank-you cards?

For gifts received during the engagement party and shower, send a thank-you within two to three weeks of the festivities. For gifts sent before the wedding date, send a card as soon as possible, but definitely before the wedding. For gifts given on the wedding day itself, mail a thank-you note within three months; and for gifts received after your wedding, send one within two to three weeks.