Some Flavors Aren’t for Everyone — and That’s the Point.
Why do we try so hard to be liked by people we wouldn’t even invite into our own hearts?
They said I was ‘too much’ — too opinionated, too emotional, too intense. And for a while, I tried to be less. Until I realized: less of me wasn’t more for anyone.
There was a time I twisted myself into knots just to be liked — watering myself down, biting my tongue, shrinking my voice. I thought being agreeable was the same as being lovable. It wasn’t.
I was lost in my own identity. God knew how badly I wanted to be like others — to not care as much as I do. I thought to myself that maybe if I was quieter, if I wasn’t the person they claim to be as “too sensitive”, maybe they’d finally accept me. Maybe they’d stop looking at me like I was too much to hold; like loving me was an obligation.
However, I knew I wasn’t that type of person — how could I be? Who am I without a sense of vulnerability? Who am I if I don’t love too much? But that’s the problem — I poured my love into people who never knew how to hold it. Until I couldn’t love the ones who truly cared. Until I forgot how to love myself, too.
But healing doesn’t start with being okay, it doesn’t take overnight. You don’t sleep at night with a heavy heart and wake up the next day without the burden you carried on your shoulders. Healing starts quietly. Awkwardly. With the discomfort of being misunderstood. By catching yourself before you apologize for simply feeling something. By reminding yourself that intensity isn’t a flaw — it’s a form of strong honesty.
There are days I still feel like I’m too much; that I’m spilled all over the place because I couldn’t fit in the cup anymore. But maybe “too much” is just what people say when they don’t know how to hold someone fully alive. And I’m learning, because I’d rather be full of feeling than emptied to fit into someone else’s comfort.
I’m not for everyone. I’m not supposed to be. It’s not my responsibility. I don’t have to give my all just to prove I’m lovable. It’s okay if you’re not everyone’s cup of tea, it’s not like you enjoy every drink on the menu either. Some will find me too strong, too warm, too cold, too bitter.
But one day, someone will sip and say, “This. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for.”
And most importantly — so will I. I’ll recognize myself and say,
“Finally. This is who I’ve been looking for all along.”
