A journey through inner child healing, reparenting, and breaking the cycle of pain.
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For many of us who grew up without consistent love, affection, or affirmation, there comes a painful belief that settles deep inside:
I am too much. Or not enough.
Love is dangerous.
I have to earn it.
I don’t really deserve it.
So even when love shows up—gentle, patient, kind—we flinch.
We retreat.
We question it.
We sabotage it.
Not because we don’t want love.
But because our nervous system has been wired to fear it.
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You Were Conditioned to Survive Without Love—But You Were Always Meant to Receive It
When your earliest experiences taught you that love comes with strings, shame, or silence, you adapted.
You became hyper-independent.
You stopped asking for help.
You became the giver, the fixer, the overachiever.
And somewhere along the way, you forgot:
You are allowed to be loved—just as you are.
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Why Receiving Feels So Hard (And How to Change That)
Being loved isn’t just about finding the right partner or friend.
It’s about allowing your body and heart to receive what you were once denied.
And that is a process of unlearning.
Here’s how you begin:
1. Notice When You Shrink Away from Kindness
When someone compliments you, do you deflect?
When someone offers help, do you say, “I’ve got it”?
Gently observe the part of you that feels unworthy of receiving.
2. Practice Saying Yes to Support
Start small: say yes when someone offers to carry something, pay for coffee, or listen.
Each yes is a message to your inner child:
“We don’t have to do this alone anymore.”
3. Feel the Discomfort of Receiving—and Let It Pass
It might feel unfamiliar. Vulnerable. Even scary.
Breathe through it.
This is your nervous system learning safety in connection.
4. Remind Yourself: Love Is Not a Transaction
You don’t have to earn love by being perfect, productive, or pleasing.
Real love is not based on conditions.
It sees you. Chooses you. Holds you—even when you’re messy or unsure.
5. Let Yourself Be Soft
Your softness is not a weakness. It is your healing.
Let your guard down, little by little.
Let people in—starting with you.
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You Deserve Safe, Soft, Steady Love
You don’t have to perform for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.
You don’t have to prove yourself first.
You were born worthy of love.
And even if no one told you that before—
Even if the love you received was laced with conditions or confusion—
You can choose now to believe in a different kind of love.
One that nourishes, not depletes.
One that heals, not harms.
One that lets you rest, not constantly reach.
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To the One Learning to Receive:
I know it’s scary to open your heart again.
To believe love exists for you, too.
But you are not unlovable. You were simply unseen.
Let this be the season you open.
Let love find you—and stay.
Not because you chased it.
But because you finally believed you deserved it.
With love,
Angel Alchemist
