In my opinion teenage years are one of the worst and one of the best years in life where you explore the life, feelings and the world. Of course its different for everyone. I want to share my experience with my teenage years. I love it, i love everything about it, there is much fun but much struggles too. As i get older i start to wonder about upcoming adult years, i don’t know if i should be scared to become an adult. Is it scary to become an adult? It looks scary, meeting new people, driving your first car, going to job, im scared that it will get boring, that everything will repeat every day- wake up, go to work, make dinner, go to sleep. There is nights that i think about it, i think about future, what if i don’t get the job that i dream about, what if I don’t find my soulmate, what if i lose everyone. Those thoughts keeps bugging me, it makes me struggle to keep my feelings still, so another point in teenagers life is stress and emotions. It’s hard to deal with emotions, you don’t know what are you supposed to feel, if it’s right to feel that or if it’s normal to feel that? I keep struggling with my emotions too. I keep thinking about a girl that is my friend, i feel like i like her but in the same time i feel that, that is a problem. I try to understand that emotions and then i get angry cause i don’t know whats wrong with me! Why I feel emotions like that? It’s weird. “It’s actually not weird, many people feel that way and thats normal” I tell myself that but it still bugs me. I always felt like I was different from my friends and I didn’t understand why I thought of that, maybe it was just my childish fantasy but im still trying to understand my feelings. The hardest years was when i was 13, horrible years for me, terrible friends, I felt ugly, everything I wanted was guys, parents were always angry about my grades, and i felt numb, I felt like everyone hates me but I just wanted to be perfect. But while going through those years I met 3 girls that were weird, atleast i thought that they were weird, I was dumb for thinking that, maybe I thought that they were weird because they were different from others, that girls had their style and the things that they like. I was disgusting cause the first thing that came to my mind when i saw one of them was “why is she fat” I was a girl that was brainwashed and had no opinion, come on that’s idiotic to think, why did i body shame that girl in my mind. So those 3 girls, i love them, I learned from them that it’s wrong to hate on people who have different style, disabilities or just acts different. After a year i had some brains but I those girls were still my side friends and then 3 new kids came to our class, being new is already hard but i was gossiping and bullying with my main friends that 2 new girls (the new kids were 2 girls and one boy) but guess what, after half a year i became more closer with those 3 girls that I mention earlier and one of those new girls came into our group and we became one group of 5. Of course our interests were not the same but later I learned about their interests and it became my interests too. After some time I started to notice that new girls features, she was pretty of course she didn’t look like a celebrity or something not many people would see how pretty she is like I see. So I started thinking am I attracted to her? Is that a sin? Should I talk with someone about these emotions? I decided to see how everything will go. I still don’t understand what I feel but I feel like I shouldn’t be scared of being not straight cause my girls group would accept me. I started going to church and became more mature when I turned 14 (those feelings started when i was 14) and I started to enjoy my life, I love every day and think that every day will be special. There would be much more to say but I will end my story there and would say that every feeling is important and in teenage years you have to find good friend, it is hard but try to understand yourself and your emotions.
