How narcissists design the setup that lets them walk away amidst the confusion and pain it creates.
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Abuse has a purpose. If you are dealing with a narcissist, abuse is often planned in advance as a method of controlling the outcome.
When a narcissist is gearing up to confess, they often use the tactic of abusing you beforehand so they can “get away” with whatever they need to come clean about.
This kind of abuse is a primer. It sets the stage for the next event by throwing in a warm-up.
Why Do They Pre-Abuse You?
Like gaslighting and other forms of manipulation, this pre-confession abuse is meant to cause chaos and confusion. It is a smokescreen meant to make you scramble while dropping a bomb and walking away.
That’s the clincher. It is designed to minimize the next thing they tell you.
Think of the things that have been confessed to in these moments. They are typically big, life-altering events. I have heard some doozies over the years. Not only from my first marriage but also in sessions with clients and in support groups. The stories of things that have been confessed would…
