I’m not sure when Russell and I became close friends, but in years 9, 10 and 11 at Turramurra high in Sydney in the mid-1980s we were inseparable. It was platonic, though to be honest I was probably in love with him at some point!
My mum, Nadine, was an author and arts editor for the Financial Review, so we have lovely memories of going to the opera, ballet and theatre together: me, mum, Russell. She adored him. Mum and I lived in a converted church and he was always offering to work around the house. We’d listen to music, hang out – he tried to teach me about football and I watched it because he liked it, even though I found it tedious.
Eventually, we started mixing in different circles. I left school in 1984 and went off to study art, and he finished high school then studied mechanical engineering. I’d still see him every now and then; he was working at the servo at Pennant Hills and I would drop in occasionally.
By 1991 I had completed my studies then went up to Cairns with my then-boyfriend, who I eventually married. Russell and I fell out of touch.
In 2003 my marriage broke up and my mum and I moved to Lemon Tree Passage near Nelson Bay together. I was in my late 30s and met a new partner but it was a difficult time. I was trying and failing to conceive via IVF. My partner and I split after two years and my mum was very sick. I looked after her until she passed away in 2009.
The next decade wasn’t easy but just before 2020 I was ready for a fresh start. I sold my home and bought a caravan. I had planned to just go wherever I wanted, then Covid lockdowns happened. When the world shut down, I found healing. I was making jewellery, painting, swimming and spending time with my dogs. I was enjoying my own company and planned to stay single.
At the same time, I had been searching for Russell. I wasn’t thinking anything romantic but I did dream about him and wondered where he was. I found a guy with Russell’s name on Facebook and sent him a friend request but the guy said: “I’m not the Russell you’re looking for.”
Then in June of 2025 I got a message out of the blue, from another Russell. He asked: “Are you the Gabby who used to live in the church in Turramurra?”
Russell was living in Adelaide, so we got on the phone. That first night, we talked for about three hours. We just clicked, like 40 years had disappeared with one call. We started talking every night.
On the phone, we talked about school, our childhood, the streets he’d ride down on his bike; about Mum, the old church and going to see the Sydney Dance Company with her. I told him how Mum had become ill, how I cared for her at home and how much she loved him when we were teenagers.
Russell’s first marriage had ended a few years before we reconnected, and he turned romantic quickly, but I was still a bit reticent. I didn’t want to be lovey-dovey over the phone or anything. Within two months he’d bought me a plane ticket to visit him in Adelaide. He took me to a beautiful oceanfront restaurant and I felt safe and calm with him. It was like coming home.
I have never trusted people easily but with Russell it was different. We were part of each other’s history. On that trip to Adelaide, our connection deepened and we decided to make a long-distance relationship work.
By that stage I had bought an old church in Mount Russell, in northern New South Wales, and was planning to renovate. One day while we were on the phone, Russell said he wanted to help me do it up. He’s a project manager and had all the skills I needed. I pushed back a little bit but he insisted. He told me my mum would have wanted him to help, so he would. When he said that, I knew I was in love.
Last October, we had our 40-year school reunion in Sydney. We planned to surprise everyone by turning up as a couple. We met up in Port Stephens so we could road-trip to Sydney together. The night he arrived, we went to dinner and he proposed.
I never thought I would have another partner at this stage of my life. I was happy, content with my dog, my creative pursuits and my little church. But we can do it all, together. Russell and I now travel to see each other every few weeks, with long phone calls in between. I love his mind and curious nature. I can’t wait for the rest of our lives together.
I don’t know when we will get married. But I have bought the most beautiful Camilla dress for the occasion, so we do need to have a party! And I know my mum would be so happy for us.
