Maid of Honor vs. Matron of Honor: What’s the Difference?

While the most important part of your wedding day is saying “I do” to your partner, it’s also a time to celebrate and honor the people who have supported you along the way. Some brides decide to do that by electing to have bridesmaids, asking friends and close family members to stand next to them at the altar—and help them navigate the pre-nuptial planning process. Additionally, in homage to their close relationship with a particular bridesmaid, some may ask one to be their maid of honor, serving as the leader of their bridal party and their close confidant in the months before the big day. Even if that’s the case for you, you may find yourself wanting to give multiple friends or siblings such a distinction. Instead of naming them each a maid of honor, there’s another option to consider: designating one of them as your matron of honor.

It’s completely acceptable to have both a maid and matron of honor at your wedding—or even multiple maids and matrons of honor. Remember: This is your celebration, and you get to decide the roles and responsibilities you bestow on your friends and family members. Plus, there may be unexpected perks to making such a choice. For example, having both a maid and matron of honor would eliminate the possibility of one person being tasked with organizing all of the pre-nuptial events. Instead, two people can share the load.

Below, we explain the key difference between these two roles—and how to ensure that each person plays an important part in your big day. Read on for more.

Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor: The Key Difference

While these roles have similar responsibilities, there’s a small—but meaningful—difference between the two. “Traditionally speaking, a matron of honor is usually your [friend] who is already married and has done this before,” says Alyssa Pettinato, the founder and owner of Alinato Events. On the flip side, she adds that your maid of honor is your best friend—or close family member—who’s unmarried. Essentially, the title someone holds ultimately depends on just one thing: their martial status.

Can You Have a Maid and Matron of Honor at Your Wedding?

Yes, you can have both a maid and matron of honor at your wedding. When it comes to your nuptials, how many people you include in your bridal party is entirely up to you. Depending on your friendships, you could even opt to have multiple maids and matrons of honor. Oftentimes, if you have a younger sibling who’s not of legal age or is unfamiliar with the wedding-planning process, it can be helpful to have a matron of honor to support them in their role.

Both of these people play a crucial role before and on your wedding day. “They are the ones that are helping with things like going to the bathroom, holding the veil, taking the bouquet during the ceremony, and generally just checking in on your well-being,” Pettinato says.

How to Include a Maid and Matron of Honor in Your Wedding

If you’ve elected to have both a maid and matron of honor at your wedding, you’ll want to make sure you’re designating specific responsibilities for each of them. Below, we break down what to keep in mind with these positions.

What Should You Maid and Matron of Honor Wear?

While you may opt to have your maid and matron of honor match your other bridesmaids, they could also don a different dress to make them stand out a bit more. For example, some brides opt to have the majority of their friends dress in the same solid hue and have this important duo wear printed gowns that incorporate that same color.

What Should the Responsibilities of a Maid and Matron of Honor Be?

How you decide up to divide up the responsibilities associated with a traditional maid-of-honor role is entirely up to you. However, if you’re looking for some guidance, consider this suggestion from Pettinato: “The matron of honor usually takes care of rounding up the other bridesmaids and making sure everybody is where they need to be at specific times, and just keeping everybody in order because they’ve done this before. The maid of honor is the one who caters to the bride directly, making sure she has her items, her dress, and her bouquet.”

Prior to your big day, you may ask one them to plan your bridal shower and the other to organize your bachelorette party. Additionally, they may institute a divide-and-conquer approach when it comes to various to-dos, including attending dress fittings, communicating important details to the wedding party, and serving as the point of contact for guest inquiries.

How Should Your Maid and Matron of Honor Walk Down the Aisle?

When you have both a maid and matron of honor, you’ll need to give a bit more consideration to your processional order. If your partner only has one best man or maid of honor, you could have that person escort both your maid and matron of honor into the ceremony space. The two could also walk down the aisle by themselves.

Who Should Stand Closer to Your at the Altar?

This decision is completely up to you. There’s no protocol as to whether the maid or matron of honor stands closer to the bride at the altar. If one is a sibling and the other is a friend, most brides will opt to have their sibling stand in the position closest to them.